Jessica's Poke'mon Journey: Yellow Version
by CrazyRabidPony
Summary: Yep, this is Jessica's story when she recieved a Pikachu as her first Poke'mon. Based on the Poke'mon Yellow Version game for Game Boy Color. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
1. The Beginning

White Pony: Hi, people! This is my very first fanfiction on Wheeeeeee! I would appreciate it if you all would be nice to me.

Disclaimer Dude: Ahem!

White Pony: Right... take it away, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony does not own Poke'mon in any shape or form. However, she does own her original characters.

White Pony: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**_Jessica's Poke'mon Journey: Yellow Version._**

_**Chapter One: The Beginning.**_

Jessica, a ten-year-old girl, who looks like the game character, loves Poke'mon and longs to become a Poke'mon trainer. Today, she was really excited because her dream would soon come true. She was going to receive her first Poke'mon and could hardly wait until later to get it. Then the thought occur to her: Why does she have to wait until later? Deciding to leave instantly, Jessica walked down the stairs and was greeted by her mother.

"All boys leave home someday. It said so on TV," said Mom.

"But, I'm a girl."

Mom's eye twitched and went into one of her usual psychotic episodes. She hurled chairs across the room, tore up the couch with her teeth, ran headfirst into the walls, danced with imaginary leprechauns, and sang very annoying songs from musicals everyone hates.

Before Jessica could become a victim of her mother's rampage, she ran out of the house and headed for Professor. Oak's Poke'mon lab.

"Professor. Oak!" Jessica cried happily when she burst through the doors of the lab.

"I told you! I don't want any Girl Scout cookies!" the mildly insane professor bellowed. He was wearing a pot on his head and carrying a machine gun and had tipped over a desk to serve as a barrier. When he realized that the girl before him wasn't a Girl Scout at all, he tossed aside his machine gun and protective pot, "Oh... Jessica, it's just you."

"Gramps! I want my Poke'mon now!" whined Professor. Oak's spiky-haired grandson, "I've been waiting here for six hours!"

"Be patient, William, you'll get one eventually."

"Whadaboutme?" Jessica asked as she bounced up and down in excitement, "Can I have my Poke'mon? Huh? Huh?"

"Of course. It's on the table." replied an annoyed Professor. Oak, pointing to a table.

Jessica walked over to the table and inspected the Poke'ball on it, "Neat! It's a Voltorb!"

"That's a Poke'ball, Jessica," Professor. Oak sweatdropped, "The Poke'mon is inside of it."

"The Poke'mon must be tiny." Professor. Oak and William facefaulted.

When Jessica was about to take the Poke'ball, William pushed her aside and snatched it.

"William! What are you doing!"

"MWAHAHAHAHA! This Poke'mon is mine!" William laughed evilly and ran out of the lab to begin his journey.

"...Okay... Jessica, we have one more Poke'mon left and you can have it."

"Yippee!" Jessica cheered as she received the Poke'ball, "Hey, another Voltorb!"

Professor. Oak sweatdropped again. Suddenly, the Poke'ball opened up and released a blinding light.

"Voltorb is using Explosion!" Jessica yelled in panic, "Voltorb, no!"

The bright light vanished and a Pikachu was sitting on the floor.

"Pikachu, Pika!" (Finally, I'm free!)

Jessica hadn't noticed the Pikachu, she was too busy scolding at the Poke'ball she had mistaken for a Voltorb. Professor. Oak and Pikachu blinked. He explained to the mixed up girl that the ball in her hand is a Poke'ball and what they were used for. He pointed at the Pikachu on the floor and said it's her Poke'mon. Jessica quickly ran to the unsuspecting Pikachu and embraced her in a death grip.

"Pi... ka..." (Can't... breathe...) The Pikachu choked out.

Jessica was given five Poke'balls and a Poke'dex. With her new Poke'mon in her arms, Jessica left the building, grabbed her stuff that she had hidden in a tree the previous day, and set out on her Poke'mon quest.

"God have mercy on that poor Pikachu's soul." prayed Professor. Oak. He opened up a safe and began to play with the girly dolls that were contained inside.

Jessica led her Pikachu around the wilderness for hours.

"I still don't see Viridian City anywhere."

The Pikachu slapped her forehead and groaned at her trainer's stupidity. The whole time they've been walking around a tree. Before Jessica could change their course toward a pack of rabid hippies, her Pikachu knocked her out with a frying pan and dragged her to the Poke'mon Center in Viridian City.

"Pi, Pika." (Hey, wake up) the Pikachu poked her sleeping trainer, who was on the couch inside the Poke'mon Center of Viridian City.

"Mommy, I don't wanna go to school," Jessica turned her back to her Poke'mon.

After many attempts of waking her trainer and failing, the Pikachu tied an alarm clock to the end of a fishing rod she stole from a Fishing Guru and cast it out; the alarm clock landed right on Jessica's head.

"BRING! WAKE UP, SOCK MONKEYS ARE ATTACKING!" the alarm clock ringed, causing Jessica to instantly leap into the air and cling onto the chandelier above.

"Don't let them get me!" Jessica cried as she dangled from the chandelier.

By now, everyone in the Poke'mon Center had their attention set on the panicked girl clinging to the chandelier. The chandelier fell from the ceiling and shattered into pieces. The Pikachu rushed to Jessica to check for any injuries. Unfortunately, there weren't any.

"I see stars! Everyone make a wish," said the dazed trainer. Her Pikachu slapped her until she recollected her brain (Yes, she has a brain), "Hey, Purge!"

"PIKA!" (WHY ME!) Purge, the Pikachu, yelled to the sky (or in this case, ceiling).

Jessica and Purge wandered about Viridian City until they came across a building with an angelic glow and a chorus of angels were singing in the background. It was a Dairy Queen.

"Hey, Purge, want some ice cream?"

"Pi!" (Sure!) Purge replied happily and decided that being Jessica's Poke'mon wouldn't be so bad after all.

They sat at a table and enjoyed their frozen dairy treats they ordered. There was joy, laughter, chugging contests, and passing out from brain freeze.

"Get back here!" a voice came from inside the Dairy Queen.

A Nidoran with an ice cream cone held firmly in her teeth dashed out of the building with the angry voice close behind. An angry ten-year-old black girl that resembled the game's female Cooltrainers was in pursuit of the Nidoran. The Nidoran slipped behind a trash bin and wolfed down the cone that was holding soft vanilla ice cream. Then scanning the area from her hiding place, the Nidoran spotted Jessica and Purge awaking from their brain freeze nap. She ran over to them unnoticed by all except the angry girl. The Nidoran gently nudged a Poke'ball that Jessica had dropped. She went inside the Poke'ball before Jessica retrieved it.

The mystery girl hadn't known that the Nidoran was wild and assumed that Jessica was its trainer. Jessica was turning her head to look in random directions. To avoid eye contact, the girl turned around and clenched her fists in anger. She swore she would avenge her beloved ice cream cone. She turned back around only to see that Jessica and Purge had left. The mystery girl gritted her teeth in frustration and moved out to track down her victims.

White Pony: Chappie One is done! That rhymes! YAY!


	2. Attack of the Bug Catchers

White Pony: Howdy, ya'll! It's here! It's here! The second chapter to my first Poke'mon parody! Whoop::pulls out a Poke'ball and throws it: I choose you, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude:comes out of the Poke'ball: Don't EVER capture me in a Poke'ball AGAIN! There's not enough leg room!

White Pony: Ok! Whatever you say!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony still doesn't own Poke'mon. Think of all the horrific things that would happen in the show if she did. She also doesn't own Fruit Gushers or Snoopy.

White Pony:grins evilly: Hehehehehehe.

_**Chapter Two: Attack of the Bug Catchers.**_

Jessica and Purge were standing before a shaky old man holding an oversized mug of coffee.

"Ah, I've had my coffee and now I feel great!" exclaimed the jittered old man, then he took a sip of his coffee, "COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE!"

The confused trainer and the terrified Pikachu bolted and ran as fast as they could toward the Viridian Forest.

"Wait! Don't you want me to show you how to catch Poke'mon!" asked the caffeine driven old man, then he took another sip of his coffee, "COFFEE!"

"Grandpa, I think you've had enough coffee." said a young woman as she began to advance upon the old man's mug.

"NEVER! MY COFFEE! COFFEE!" the old man screamed.

The old man ran behind a bush and protectively held his mug close to him as if it were a child.

Jessica and Purge were at the foot of the Viridian Forest and breathless from their frightening encounter with the coffee addicted old man.

"Did we... lose... him, Purge?" Jessica asked between breaths.

"Pikachu... Pi Pika... Pikachu." (I don't think... he was even... following us.)

"Hi," greeted a boy standing by a large tree, "I came here with some of my friends. They're itching for Poke'mon fights."

Suddenly, another boy was running frantically about, then he dove behind a tree stump and trembled like a frightened puppy. His clothes were tattered, his glasses were cracked, his hair was messy, and one of his shoes was gone.

"Hi!" Jessica greeted the whimpering boy happily, of course, completely unaware that the boy had just barely survived a horrific encounter deeper within the Viridian Forest.

The boy curled up into a ball and began to rock back and forth, repeating the same thing over and over again, "They're out to get us all... They're out to get us all... They're out to get us all..."

"Who?" asked Jessica, who was beginning to sense that something was amiss.

"The Bug Catchers!" cried the psychologically scarred boy, and he fell back to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Pi!" Purge gasped.

"What are Bug Catchers?" Jessica asked, totally clueless as usual.

Purge snatched the Poke'Dex from her trainer's pants pocket, opened it, and pressed a few buttons.

"**_Bug Catchers are psychotic Poke'mon trainers that train only bug Poke'mon. They are very dangerous and always carry with them a small box that holds either a mutant Caterpie or Weedle. If you anger a Bug Catcher, he will release his mutant bug from its tiny cage and sick it on you._**"

"Cool! The Poke'Dex looks almost like a Game Boy!" exclaimed Jessica, completely ignoring the information that was given.

"Pi!" Purge face faulted.

"Anyway, let's go, Purge!"

Jessica picked up her Pikachu, who was slightly trembling in fear, and headed deeper into the Viridian Forest. The boy standing next to the large tree just remembered that he forgot to sedate his Bug Catcher friends before he turned them loose into the forest. He quickly rummaged through his bag to take out the sedative. When he pulled his hands out, the needles of the shots had pierced his skin and he was being injected with the sedative.

"Uh, oh." the boy instantly collapsed.

Our two explorers were making their way through the Viridian Forest. Purge was trying to urge her trainer to move faster, hoping not to bump into any Bug Catchers. No trainer has ever went into the Viridian Forest without bumping into a Bug Catcher, and Jessica was no exception.

Suddenly, someone jumped out of a tree and landed on his feet almost on cue. He stood before Jessica and Purge and gave them a menacing glare that would even make the legendary pro wrestler Hulk Hogan ran away crying for his mommy. Purge ran behind her trainer to avoid any sudden attack. Jessica, however, felt no hostility from the creature. It was a Bug Catcher.

"Hi, I'm Jessica! What's your name?"

"You have Poke'mon? Let's fight!" the Bug Catcher cried. He took out a Poke'ball and released a Caterpie, "Go, Caterpie!"

"Yay! My first Poke'mon battle!" Jessica exclaimed happily as she jumped up and down, "Go, Purge!"

Although Purge didn't think it wasn't a good idea to fight the Bug Catcher, it was her duty to obey her trainer.

"Pika!" Purge darted from behind Jessica and got into a battling position.

"Purge, use Splash!"

"Pi?" (What?) Purge looked back at Jessica and cocked her head.

"What's wrong, Purge?"

"**_Pikachu doesn't know Splash, you dimwit._**" said the Poke'Dex that was lying on the ground.

"Oh, then use Thundershock, Purge!"

"PikaaaCHUUU!" Purge charged up the electricity inside her cheeks and fired her attack.

Purge's Thundershock attack zapped the Caterpie and he tipped over like an unbalanced object. Not only the Caterpie was hit, but do to lack of training, Jessica and the Bug Catcher were also victims of the electric attack.

The Bug Catcher's eye twitched and he recalled his Caterpie.

"You have sizzled my beautiful bug Poke'mon! I shall cast a plague onto your house!" the Bug Catcher yelled angrily.

Back at Pallet Town, it was raining frogs. Mom was outside watering her 'Unfortunate Pedestrian-Eating' plants.

"Froggies!" she cried and ran into the house, "Protect the wigs and manholes!"

One of the 'Unfortunate Pedestrian-Eating' plants caught a poor frog in its hungry jaws and belched loudly after swallowing it.

Back in the Viridian Forest, Jessica and Purge were face-to-face with a mad Bug Catcher. The Bug Catcher eyed his prey and brandished his case that contained his prized beast. Frightened, Purge backed into a tree.

"Uh-oh." said Jessica and she also backed up.

Purge looked up to her trainer and thought that Jessica had finally realized that they're in trouble. The Bug Catcher came closer laughing madly.

"No! I'm not interested in anything you're selling!"

"Pi!" Purge face faulted. She should've known Jessica wouldn't be smart enough to realize the danger in their current situation.

The Bug Catcher grinned evilly and opened the case and a mutant Weedle jumped out. It's color was a much darker yellow and it had long hairs coming out of his body like whiskers. The mutant Weedle pulled a top hat and a cane out of the plot hole, he put on the hat, and began tap dancing.

"What's it doing?"

"**_The Bug Catcher's mutant bug's ritual tap dance before attacking its prey._**" explained the Poke'Dex that magically appeared in Jessica's hand.

The mutant Weedle stopped dancing and he ripped apart his hat and snapped his cane in half. Jessica and Purge blinked in confusion as the mutant Weedle destroyed his own props. Then the mutant Weedle turned to his victims and pulled out the deadly weapon that is feared by all Bug Catcher victims... Magical Fruit Gushers.

"**_The Magical Fruit Gushers wielded by the mutant bug Poke'mon are feared by all Bug Catcher victims. The mutant bug will shove the Magical Fruit Gushers in the victims' mouth and their heads will turn into a fruit._**"

"Noooo! I don't wanna be a fruithead!"

"Pika!" (Me neither!)

The mutant Weedle ripped open the package and chuckled like Snoopy.

"Purge! Thundershock!"

"PikaaaCHU!"

The mutant Weedle shrieked as he was being shocked. After the attack, the mutant Weedle dropped his Magical Fruit Gushers and crawled back into his cage, yelping like a wounded dog.

The Bug Catcher hissed and blew a whistle. In exactly 59.42 seconds, more Bug Catchers arrived. The released their Poke'mon and ordered them to avenge their friend's defeat.

"Alright, Purge, let's take em down!"

"Pi!" (Yeah!)

A bunch of Caterpie used String Shot at the same time, but Purge leaped out of the way before she could become entangled within the ball of string. When the Caterpie cease-fired, Purge jumped onto the ball of string they made and ran backwards to move it forward. When the ball of string hit the crowd of Caterpie, the sound effect of a bowling ball striking pins was heard.

"Pika!" (Strike!) exclaimed Purge, then a giant 'X' appeared.

Then Metapod and Kakuna were catapulted toward Purge. Purge grabbed the giant 'X' and used it as a shield. When the Metapod and Kakuna hit the 'X', they bounced off and flew into trees. After many impacts, the 'X' crumbled.

Weedle stiffened their bodies and were hurled like darts at Purge, but she dodged every flying Weedle. Every Weedle went headfirst into a tree and their stingers stuck in the bark. The Bug Catchers' Poke'mon were defeated.

"Good job, Purge!"

"Pikachu!" ('V' for victory!) Purge held her paw in the air and did the victory pose.

Bug Catchers recalled their Poke'mon and turned toward their enemies. Jessica ran in front of her Pikachu to protect her. Purge looked up to her trainer and felt the seed of affection beginning to sprout. The Bug Catchers were slowly making their was toward Jessica and Purge, walking like zombies. Jessica sat on the ground, still protecting her Poke'mon. She tried to think of what to do next, but resulted in a headache. There was nothing she could do and the Bug Catchers were getting closer.

This was it. The Bug Catchers were in range. One Bug Catcher, the one defeated earlier, stepped forward to make the first attack. Purge was shaking like a soaked cat having a seizure, but Jessica was oblivious to any fear do to stupidity. The Bug Catcher pounced and Jessica flailed her arms wildly, hoping to slap him aside. Suddenly, the Bug Catcher crashed to the ground into a deep sleep. Jessica, Purge, and the other Bug Catchers examined the sleeping one and found a tranquilizer dart in his neck. When a single Bug Catcher was about to remove the tranquilizer dart, he too, was hit.

"Nighty night, little fishy." the Bug Catcher mumbled before falling to sleep.

The confused individuals looked into the direction the darts were being fired and there was the boy Jessica and Purge met earlier.

"Are you two alright?" he asked Jessica and Purge.

"Yeah, we're fine!" Jessica chirped happily.

The boy cocked his tranquilizer gun and pointed it at the Bug Catchers, who were scrambling to get away. Jessica and Purge stood clear as the boy fired away. Eventually, every Bug Catcher was hit, then sent to dreamland and snoring loudly.

"Thanks for saving us! You're welcome to come with us if you want, Josh." Jessica offered.

"Thanks, but no thanks," the boy, Josh, replied firmly, "My rightful place is here. I must..."

Just then, a Bug Catcher was sitting and attempting to escape, but Josh instantly shot him with another dose of sedative and was asleep again.

"I must stay to keep my friends under control and to make sure this never happens again."

"What happened?"

"Ah!" Josh face faulted and so did Purge.

Jessica and Purge said their goodbyes to Josh. After a couple of hours of walking, a clearing became visible. They ran after the light and were out of the Viridian Forest. It shouldn't be too long before our heroes enter Pewter City.

To be continued...

White Pony: It'll be a while before the next chappie comes because of school and I'm also trying to write a Yu-Gi-Oh! parody too. Stay tuned!


	3. Double Trouble

White Pony: Well, here's the next chapter even if there hasn't been any reviews since chapter one. Oh well! Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: Yeah, whatever. White Pony does not own Poke'mon, Duracells, Twinkies, or Popeye.

_**Chapter Three: Double Trouble**_

"!" a voice cried.

Jessica and Purge instantly stopped.

"Did you say something, Purge?"

"Pi? Chu." (Me? No.)

"Hmmm..." Jessica started off again with Purge at her heels.

"!" the voice cried again.

Jessica wheeled around and looked down to Purge.

"Purge, I know you said something!"

Purge jumped back in surprise, "Pikachu Pi Pika!" (I didn't say anything, dummy! It was that trainer over there!) Purge pointed at a Youngster leaping out of the tall grass and sprinting over to our heroes while trying to scratch his itchy legs due to wearing shorts.

"Hiya! I'm Jessica!" Jessica shouted happily and waved an arm in the air at the Youngster. Purge sweatdropped.

"My name is John and I challenge you to a Poke'mon battle!" the Youngster cried and he took out a Poke'ball.

"Okay!" Jessica agreed happily, "Go, Purge!"

"Pika!" Purge dashed in front of Jessica.

"I choose you, Mankey!" John threw his Poke'ball and released a Mankey.

"Mankey!" the Mankey cried angrily and it eyed Purge, "Mankey Mankey!" (You're going down!)

"Pikachu!" (Bring it on!)

"Mankey, poke it in the eyes then use Karate Chop!" John commanded his Poke'mon.

Mankey did what he was told. He poked Purge in the eyes with each index finger. When Purge covered her eyes and cried in pain, Mankey used Karate Chop. Purge landed on her stomach and rubbed her eyes.

"Are you alright, Purge?"

"Chu." (No.) Purge continued rubbing her eyes.

"Mankey, Low Kick!"

Mankey sprinted toward Purge and delivered a powerful Low Kick attack to her side.

"Pi!" (Ow!) Purge screamed in pain and she crashed to the ground, "Chuu." (Ouch.)

"How pathetic! Mankey, have some fun with the weak Poke'mon."

Mankey jumped on Purge's back, grabbed her ears, and yanked them.

"Pii!" (Hey!)

"That's not nice!" Jessica yelled angrily at John.

"Your Pikachu has the shortest ears out of every Pikachu I've ever seen!" John sneered, "Mankey could make them longer."

"I think they're cute!" Jessica chirped. John, Mankey, and Purge sweatdropped.

Mankey continued to yank Purge's ears. Jessica tried to think fast. Then for the first time in her life, she had a good idea.

"Puge, Thundershock!" Jessica yelled.

Purge quickly responded and charged up for the attack.

"PikaaaCHUUU!" Purge shocked Mankey at full power.

"MAAANKEEYY!" Mankey cried in agony and he fainted.

"No way, we were winning!" John cried and he recalled Mankey, "Mankey, return!"

"Yay! We won, Purge!" Jessica cried happily.

"Pi!" (Yep!)

Purge lifted herself up and limped over to her trainer.

"Aw, Purge, you're limping. I'll carry you."

Jessica picked up Purge and cradled her in her arms. Purge was very grateful not to have to walk the rest of the way. Jessica carried Purge the rest of the way to Pewter City and, surprisingly, knew the way to the Poke'mon Center.

"Hello, welcome to our Poke'mon Center! We can heal your Poke'mon back to perfect health!" a nurse Joy said joyfully, "Shall we heal your Poke'mon?"

"Yes, please." Jessica replied and Purge hopped onto the counter to be healed.

Suddenly, someone landed on the glass roof, a female Rocket Grunt. Then someone else, a male Rocket Grunt, landed on top of her. The female Rocket Grunt pushed off the male Rocket Grunt and bashed him in the head. After the male Rocket Grunt rubbed his head, he helped his partner break the glass roof. One end of a long rope was tied around a heavy object on the roof and the rest was thrown into the hole. The two Rocket Grunts began to climb down the rope and everyone in the Poke'mon Center watched them in amusement. When they were almost in the middle, the rope snapped and the two Rocket Grunts crashed to the hard floor. After a couple of minutes of groaning and checking themselves for injuries, they scrambled to their feet, brushed the dust off their uniforms, and turned on a record player that appeared out of nowhere and played their theme music.

"Prepare for trouble!" cried the female Rocket Grunt.

"Make it double!" the male Rocket Grunt followed.

"To protect the world from dangerous freaks!"

"To pelt them all with smelly meats!"

"To relinquish society of junk mail!"

"To go to the mall and see what's on sale!"

"Jean!" cried the female Rocket Grunt.

"Roy!" cried the male Rocket Grunt.

"Team Rocket blast off with speed and might!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

Suddenly, a wild duck Poke'mon holding a leek, leaped in front of Jean and Roy.

"Farfetch'd! Dat's right!"

The record scratched and the theme music stopped. Everyone else in the Poke'mon Center exchanged looks with each other and burst out with laughter.

"Stop laughing at us!" Jean roared and everyone quieted.

"We're here to take every last Pikachu here!" exclaimed Roy.

Everyone else except for Jessica, Purge, and Nurse Joy ran out of the Poke'mon Center. Jean and Roy eyed Purge with envy and released their Poke'mon.

"Go, Sandshrew!" said Jean.

"Go, Cuebone!" said Roy.

Jean's Sandshrew and Roy's Cuebone stood in their fighting stances and waited for their orders.

"Two against one's not fair!" exclaimed Jessica.

"Besides, Pikachu is still in bad condition!" said Nurse Joy.

"Pikachu!" (I can take em!) Purge leaped onto the floor and limped forward.

"This will be a cakewalk." said Jean.

"Cake! Where!" Roy looked around for cake, but got a bashing in the head.

"Purge, Thundershock!" Jessica ordered.

Purge knew that electric moves have no effect on ground Poke'mon, but obeyed because it was the only way her trainer will learn.

"PikaaaCHUU!"

Purge's electric attack didn't at all effect Sandshrew or Cuebone.

"Purge's attack didn't work! That can only mean that her Duracells have run down!"

"Idiot! Electric attacks don't effect ground-type Poke'mon!" yelled Jean.

"Ohhh..."

"Cuebone, Bonemerang!" Roy ordered his Cuebone.

"Cuebone!" (Take this!) Cuebone threw his bone at Purge, but she jumped to dodge it and it went back to him.

"Pika!" (Missed me!) Purge taunted.

"Sandshrew, Sand Attack!"

"Shrew!" (Yay!) Sandshrew hurled clumps of sand at Purge, blinding her.

"Let's try this again. Cuebone, Bonemerang!"

This time, Cuebone's attack didn't miss, it hit Purge right in the forehead.

"Chu..." (Ow...) Purge rubbed most of the sand out of her eyes, but the blow to her head blurred her vision and she staggered about.

"Sandshrew, Slash!"

"Cuebone, Bone Club!"

Purge collapsed and braced herself for the beating of her lifetime. Sandshrew and Cuebone ran toward their victim to deliver the final assault.

"Purge, get up!" Jessica pleaded, but the poor Pikachu couldn't get up.

"Spear!" (Hey!)

"Geotto!" (Leave her alone!)

A Spearow and a Pidgeotto swooped down to attack Sandshrew and Cuebone. The Pidgeotto struck Sandshrew with a critical Quick Attack and the Spearow used Fury Attack on Cuebone and continued the attack three times before he went down.

"Nooo!" Jean, Roy, and Farfetch'd cried in unison.

"Yay!" Jessica cried.

"You!" a voice cried. It was the mystery girl, "You with the Pikachu!"

"Me?" Jessica looked around for anyone else with a Pikachu, but found no one.

"Yes, you!" the mystery girl pointed an accusing finger, "Your Poke'mon stole my ice cream cone!"

Jessica looked down to Purge, "Did you take her ice cream, Purge?"

"Chu!" (No!) Purge replied angrily.

"She didn't do it!" Jessica said happily to the mystery girl.

"Not your Pikachu! Your Nidoran!"

"What's a Nidoran?"

The mystery girl widened her eyes in fury, "Spearow, Pidgeotto, check every one of her Poke'balls!"

"What's a Poke'ball?"

The mystery girl's eye twitched and her two bird Poke'mon pecked at each one of Jessica's Poke'balls until they came across the one holding the Nidoran. The Nidoran popped out of the Poke'ball and was eating out of a bowl of sugar that somehow got inside.

"Hey! What about us!" Roy bellowed.

"Can you wait!" the mystery girl bellowed back, making Roy cringe in fear.

"Only I can yell at my partner like that!" Jean roared, "And no, we can't wait! We are Team Rocket! Prepare for trouble!"

"M-make it double." Roy whimpered.

"To protect the world from dangerous freaks!"

"To pelt them all with smelly meats."

"To..." Jean was interrupted.

"Can it!"

"Never interrupt the motto! Go, Farfetch'd!"

"Ya gotta be kiddin!" said the surprised Farfetch'd.

"GO!"

"Fine!" Farfetch'd stood before the hovering Spearow and Pidgeotto and pointed, "Look ova dere! Twinkies!"

Spearow and Pidgeotto immediately turned around to look for Twinkies, then Farfetch'd slapped them in the back of their heads with his leek.

"Take dat, youse ova grown featha dustas!" yelled Farfetch'd. Spearow and Pidgeotto crashed to the floor, defeated.

"Speary! Pidgey!" the mystery girl cried in despair and she recalled them into their Poke'balls.

"What are we going to do!" said Nurse Joy.

"Mwahahahahaha! You'll give us that Pikachu and every last Poke'mon here!" exclaimed Jean.

"Never!" cried Nurse Joy and she sobbed.

"Pika Pika." (How ironic.) said Purge stating the irony that a Nurse Joy is crying.

The Nidoran looked from her sugar bowl, to the rejoicing members of Team Rocket and the sulking humans who were afraid of having their Poke'mon being taken away. She chugged what was left of the sugar and the Popeye spinach theme music came in the background as she bounced around. The hyper Nidoran stepped forward to challenge Team Rocket.

"Ya want some too?" Farfetch'd twirled his leek and struck, but Nidoran's sugar-drivenness was too fast for him. Jessica also stepped forward.

"Nidoran, go!"

Nidoran lifted a fifty pound bag of sugar and wacked Farfetch'd with it. Farfetch'd fainted from the blow. Then Nidoran sent Team Rocket flying through the roof and soaring in the sky.

"I'm flying! Wheeee!" cried Roy in joy (Gasp! A rhyme!) before disappearing within the clouds with his teammates.

"Yay! We won!" Jessica cried happily.

"NIII!" (SWEET!) Nidoran screamed before consuming twenty pounds of sugar in 12.96 seconds.

"Pika ka, Pikachu!" (Good job, Nidoran!) cried Purge, who was suddenly in full health.

The mystery girl just stood in awe after watching the craziness, "Crazy, just crazy."

"Come on, Rita! Let's go!" Jessica urged Rita, the mystery girl.

"Hold your Ponytas, I'm comin!" Rita shouted in irritation.

"I don't have any Ponytas."

"Pi Pika Pikachu." (It's a figure of speech.)

"Where are we going in such a hurry?"

"The 'Gime'."

"The what?"

"Pika?" (The what?)

Nidoran was too busy eating sugar and was withdrawn into her Poke'ball.

Jessica lead Purge and Rita to the Poke'mon Gym.

"See? A 'Gime'."

"Jessica, that's a gym."

"Ohhhhh..."

Purge and Rita sweatdropped.

"Come on, Purge, let's go in and win a badge! Rita, you can cheer us on!"

"Whatever." said Rita and she followed Jessica and Purge as they entered the Poke'mon Gym.

To be continued...


	4. Rock On

White Pony: Hi, everybody!

Disclaimer Dude: Hi, White Pony.

White Pony: Heh, a little Simpson's joke. You're on, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony does not own Poke'mon. She does own the characters she made up, but not their appearance.

_**Chapter Four: Rock On**_

"Hello!" Jessica shouted from inside the Gym which echoed several times, "Cool!"

"You're strange." said Rita.

"Pika." (Yep.) Purge agreed.

"Thanks!" Jessica began bouncing around. Purge and Rita sweatdropped as they watched Jessica bounce around in excitement.

"How did I get im my Gym? Where's Ash, Pikachu, May, and Max?" a dark-skinned teenager with slits for eyes cried in astonishment.

"HI!" Jessica popped up in front of him suddenly, making him cry out in surprise, "Hey, Mr. Gym Leader, sir, will you battle with me now?"

"My name isn't Mr. Gym Leader, it's Brock. I don't know what's going on, but I'll go with it anyway."

"Goodie!"

"Go, Mudkip!" Brock cried, but as soon as Mudkip came out, it turned into Geodude.

"Geodude, Geo!" (I'm back, baby!) Geodude cried happily.

"Okay... Go, Geodude!" Brock corrected.

"Go, Purge!"

"Pika!"

"Thundershock!"

Rita slapped her forehead and Purge charged up her attack and fired full power at Geodude.

"You dolt! Electric attacks don't effect rock Poke'mon!" Rita bellowed.

"Rock Poke'mon?" Jessica blinked in confusion.

"Nevermind!" Rita growled and she sat heavily on a bench that just happened to be there.

"Oh, now I get it!"

"Pika Pika." (It's about time.) Purge mumbled.

"Purge, use Water Gun!"

Purge sighed and managed to pull out a squirt gun full of water out of the plothole. She pulled the trigger and squirted a surprised Geodude.

"Geodude, return!" Brock recalled his fainted Poke'mon then released a different one, "Go, Lombre!"

Brock's Lombre turned into Onix.

"Ooooaaarrrrr!" (Mwahahahahaha!) Onix roared.

"Onix, Tackle!"

Onix lunged forward and crushed Purge.

"Meep!" Jessica squeaked.

"Ouch," said Rita, "That's gotta hurt."

When Onix rose, everyone saw that Purge was flatter than a pancake. Jessica gripped onto Purge's ears and ripped her off the floor. Since she was still flat, Jessica rolled her up like a piece of paper. Jessica took out Nidoran's Poke'ball and released her Poke'mon, but what came out was the fifty pound bag of sugar. It had several holes in it and sugar was pouring out.

"You're Poke'mon is a bag of sugar!"

"No."

Then Nidoran's head popped out of the bag, hyper and cheerful.

"NI!" (HI!) She greeted.

"Go, Nidoran!"

Nidoran grabbed pawfuls of sugar and threw them into Onix's eyes.

"Oaarr!" (My eyes!) Onix cried.

Then Nidoran scattered sugar all over Onix's body. The sugar made its way inside the cracks of the boulders that made Onix's body, making him itchy.

"What's your Nidoran doing to Onix?"

"Sharing her sugar!"

Onix rolled over and squirmed about to get rid of his itching.

"Nooo!" Brock cried in despair, "Onix, return!"

When Brock gave Jessica the Boulderbadge, he was teleported back to his friends. Jessica recalled Nidoran and carried her rolled up Pikachu; Rita tagged along and they went to the Poke'mon Center.

After Jessica's Poke'mon were fully restored, she and Purge and Rita stopped at the Museum. Jessica eyed a shiny chunk of golden amber.

"Fo shizzle my nizzle, home doggie dog!" a random scientist shouted at Jessica, who recoiled in surprise. The random scientist rapped, "Yo, G, do meh a favah an take dis Old Amba ta Cinnabah Island!"

"Okay!" Jessica happily took the Old Amber and put it in her backpack.

"Yo, home skillet.." Before the random scientist could say anything else, one of his colleagues slapped him.

"You're not a gangsta!" the colleague yelled.

Jessica, Purge, and Rita backed away slowly toward the door then sprinted out of Pewter City. They were on their way to Mt. Moon.

"Are we there yet?" asked Jessica.

"No." Rita answered calmly.

"Chu." (No.) Purge also answered calmly.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Chu." (No.)

"Are we there yet?"

"No." Rita was becoming agitated.

"Chu." (No.) Purge was also becoming agitated.

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Chu!" (No!)

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Chu!" (No!)

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Chu!" (No!)

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!" Rita yelled angrily.

"CHU!" (NO!) Purge also yelled angrily.

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"CHU!" (NO!)

"Are we..." Jessica was interrupted with Purge's Thundershock.

"CHUUUU!"

"Finally!"

Jessica twitched slightly and Rita dragged her along. Then someone jumped out of a bush that magically appeared by the road. It was a Bug Catcher. The same Bug Catcher that lead the angry mob of Bug Catchers back in the Viridian Forest. This Bug Catcher didn't seem insane, he was as normal as most trainers. He pointed at the twitching Jessica.

"Hey, I met you in Viridian Forest!"

"Pika! Pika Chu Pikachu!" (Oh no! It's the Bug Catcher!) Purge cried in fear.

Jessica snapped back to reality and looked at the Bug Catcher, "Who are you?"

"Hey says you've met in the Viridian Forest." Rita explained.

"Oh, sorry, but I have a memory span of only five hours."

"Pikachu." (I knew it.)

"That's alright, let's battle!"

"Sure! Go, Nidoran!" Jessica tossed Nidoran's Poke'ball and she popped out holding her bag of sugar.

"Go, Weedle!" The Bug Catcher released a normal Weedle from its Poke'ball, "Weedle, String Shot!"

"Nidoran, Point and Shoot!"

"What?" said Rita, "There's no attack called Point and Shoot! Your Nidoran knows: Tackle, Scratch, Double Kick, and Poison Sting."

"Thanks, Rita!" Jessica happily thanked Rita, who along with Purge was groaning in frustration.

Nidoran had leaped to dodged Weedle's String Shot with ease.

"Nidoran, Tackle!"

Nidoran immediately chugged the rest of her sugar and tackled Weedle with supersonic speed. Weedle was recalled and a Caterpie took its place. Nidoran was recalled into her Poke'ball.

"Go, Purge! Thundershock!"

"PikaaaCHUU!" Purge knocked out Caterpie with one hit of her Thundershock.

"Did we win?" Jessica asked Rita.

"Yes, Jessica, you won."

"Hooray! Victory is mine!"

"Pika?" (Already?)

"Yep, let's go, Purge."

While our three friends were walking along, Rita pressed an interesting question.

"You can understand what your Poke'mon says?"

"Sure I can!" Jessica replied happily.

"Pikachu Pikachu Pika." (I don't know how she does it.)

Jessica locked arms with Rita and dragged her along as she skipped merrily. Purge had to move fast in order to keep up with her skipping trainer and screaming friend.

Minutes later, they all stopped at the foot of Mt. Moon. Rita brushed the dirt off her clothes and glared at Jessica.

"What is your problem?" Rita bellowed in Jessica's face.

"What?" Jessica blinked and tilted her head slightly in confusion.

"Grrrr... Nothing..." Rita growled through clenched teeth.

"Okay, let's go!"

Jessica, Purge, and Rita entered the mouth of Mt. Moon.


	5. Heist at Mt Moon

White Pony: Hello, my lovely readers! Here's another fun-filled chapter! Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony STILL doesn't own Poke'mon.

White Pony: Also on every five chapters, I'm going to acknowledge all my nice reviewers!

Disclaimer Dude: Why every five chapters?

White Pony: It's a tradition.

Disclaimer Dude: But you never did it before!

White Pony: Tradition has to start somewhere. Here are my reviewers:

**Angsty Yogurt**: Thanks! I'm glad you like my story!

**My God Can Beat Up Your God**: I always write for my enjoyment. Even though there weren't so many reviews. Thanks anyway for the words of encouragement! (Nice Pen Name.)

**Kilnorc**: Of course it's messed up, I meant for it to be messed up. I'm especially glad that you like it because it's messed up!

**Dyeh**: I'm happy you think my story is funny! (Your randomness is excused. I love randomness!)

_**Chapter Five: Heist at Mt. Moon**_

"Mwahahahahahahahaha!" Jessica laughed evilly and very loudly. The evil laughter echoed within Mt. Moon's cavern, sending Zubats flying around frantically.

Purge and Rita stared at Jessica with petrified glances and sweatdrops running down their heads.

"See? I told you I could make them leave." said Jessica as she pointed to the frightened Zubats flying away from the vicinity, "They won't bother us."

Purge and Rita followed Jessica as she skipped along Mt. Moon's pathway.

"You are a strange one." said Rita and Purge nodded.

"I know!" Jessica chirped happily and she continued to skip. Then she became tired after a couple of minutes and began walking instead.

"I wanna be the very best!" Jessica sang the Poke'mon first season theme song very loudly, "No one ever was!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Rita couldn't take it anymore, "You are THE MOST annoying person I've ever met!"

Jessica blinked, "And?"

"Please don't be so annoying. At least until we get to Cerulean City."

"Sure thing."

"Thank you!"

Two hours later, Jessica and Purge and Rita stopped in their tracks. For they spotted two shady characters.

"Is it Halloween already?" Jessica asked.

"Shhhh! No, it's not Halloween," Rita hissed, "Looks like a couple of members of Team Rocket. I wonder what they're up to."

"Maybe they're looking for Poke'mon fossils to sell for high prices." Jessica suggested. Rita and Purge were surprised of Jessica's answer.

"You know that actually makes sense. Whatever Team Rocket is doing, it can't be good."

"Pikachu." (We must stop them.) Purge said quietly.

"You're right, Purge, let's get them." Jessica walked toward the Team Rocket members, who were playing Poker since there was nothing for them to do.

"Guard duty is so boring." said a Rocket.

"You said it. There's nothing to do." the other Rocket replied.

"Excuse me." Jessica interrupted the Rockets' conversation, "Whatcha doin?"

"None of your business, kid! Go away!"

"If you interfere with Team Rocket's affairs, don't expect any mercy!" the Rocket sent out a Zubat, "Zubat, attack!"

"Purge, Thundershock!"

"PikaaCHUU!"

Not only did Purge shock Zubat, she also hit both Rockets, who exploded for no reason. Jessica, Purge, and Rita went on their merry way.

"Hey!" cried a voice. It was another Team Rocket member, "We're pulling a big job here, kids! Get lost!"

"May I?" Rita asked politely.

"May you what?"

"Fight this Rocket?"

"Sure! Go ahead!"

"Thanks." Rita turned toward the Rocket and released one of her Poke'mon from its Poke'ball, "Go, Spearow!"

"Spear-row!" (Wa-hoo!) Spearow cried.

The Rocket released a Rattata, "Go, Rattata!"

"Spearow, Fury Attack!"

"Spear!" (Okay!) Spearow swooped down and attacked Rattata. Then swooped down again, attacked, and knocked out his enemy.

"Good job, Spearow!"

"Spear!" (Thanks!) Spearow flew over to Rita and perched on her shoulder.

"That was so cool!" Jessica yelled in excitement.

"Dang it! I'm sure to get fired!" the Rocket cried angrily, then he released another Poke'mon after recalling Rattata. It was another Zubat. Rita sent out her Pidgeotto.

"Pidgeotto, Quick Attack!"

Before Zubat could avoid any attack or launch an attack, Pidgeotto struck it with a Quick Attack.

"Zubat, Leech Life!"

Zubat sunk its sharp fangs into Pidgeotto's neck and sucked in a portion of her energy.

"Pidgeotto, Gust!"

Pidgeotto finished off Zubat with a Gust attack. The Rocket threw himself to the ground and threw a tantrum.

"Yay!" Jessica and Purge danced around for their friend's victory.

Rita flashed a smile and turned to the defeated Rocket, who was wallowing in self-pity.

"Alright, pal, spill it! What are you and the other Rockets up to?" Rita demanded of the Rocket.

"Maybe they're planning a surprise party." Jessica suggested a second time.

"Chu, Pika Pi Pika." (No, that can't be it.)

"Tell me what you're up to or face the wrath of my birds' sharp talons." Rita threatened the Rocket. Spearow and Pidgeotto, both perched on each of Rita's shoulders, glared at the Rocket with malice.

"Alright! Alright! I'll talk! I'll talk!" the Rocket fell to his knees and sobbed, "We're digging for Poke'mon fossils and selling them for high prices!"

"Pikachu Chu Pikachu Pika!" (Jessica was actually right before!) Purge gasped.

"You were right, Jessica. Who would've thought."

"Me!" Jessica waved an arm in the air.

"Right..." Rita turned back to the Rocket, "You! Where are the rest?"

"N-near the exit."

"They better be. You can go." The Rocket turned tail and ran toward the entrance, only to be attacked by bloodthirsty Zubats.

"Let's go. The sooner we crush the rest of the Rockets, the sooner we get out of here." Rita withdrew her Poke'mon.

The two humans and Pikachu encountered a few more Rockets and they worked together to beat them. The Rockets ran to the entrance screaming like little girls.

"Hey!" cried a Super Nerd, "I found these fossils, they're both mine!"

"What?" exclaimed Rita.

"He said: He found those fossils, they're both his!" Jessica repeated in the same tone as the Super Nerd.

"Nobody yells at me like that!" Rita yelled at the Super Nerd.

"Meep!" the Super Nerd cringed in fear, "Fine! Take one fossil! Just don't hurt me!"

"Yay!" Jessica cheered. Purge was chatting with a wild Paras.

Rita shrugged. She picked up a Dome Fossil and stuffed it into her backpack that was unmentioned. They walked off and were almost to the exit.

"Rita, Purge, I see a light at the end of the tunnel," said Jessica as she eyed the exit, "Am I dead?"

"No, you're not dead."

"Pika Pi Pika Pikachu." (Maybe there's a train nearby.) Purge joked.

"Hold it!"

The group froze.

"What now?" Rita screamed. She was clearly vexed.

Then a familiar tune began to play.

"Where's that music coming from?" asked Jessica.

"Pika Pikachu Chu." (Somewhere in the background.)

"Prepare for trouble!" cried a female voice.

"Make it double!" a male voice followed.

"Pikachu." (Not again.) Purge sighed.

"To protect the world from dangerous freaks!"

"To pelt them all with smelly meats!"

"To relinquish society of junk mail!"

"To go to the mall and see what's on sale!"

"Jean!"

"Roy!

"Team Rocket blast off with speed and might!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Farfetch'd! Dat's right!"

"Not you three dorks again." said Rita.

"Dorks! How dare you!" Jean yelled in fury then turned to her partner in crime, who was crouching down and talking to a wild Paras.

"One time, I poked a watermelon and it attacked me." Roy said to the wild Paras, who was inching away from him. Jean whacked him in the head with a rubber chicken. Jessica, Purge, and Rita sniggered.

"Stop messin around!" Farfetch'd yelled.

"Quiet, you!" Jean yelled back, "Roy, get out your Poke'mon! Go, Sandshrew!"

"Go, Cuebone!"

"Go, Spearow and Pidgeotto!" Rita sent out her prized birds.

"Sandshrew, Slash!"

"Cuebone, Headbutt!"

Spearow and Pidgeotto were weak from their previous battles with the other Rockets and couldn't avoid the attacks. Spearow and Pidgeotto were knocked out and recalled.

"I hate you." Rita growled at the three Rocket members. She turned to Jessica, who was now talking to a wild Paras.

"Your mushrooms are soooo cuuute!"

The wild Paras sweatdropped, "Paras." (Thank you.)

"Jessica!" Rita caught Jessica's attention, "You're turn to battle."

"Okay!" Jessica stepped forward, "Purge, use... uh... Quick Attack!"

Purge gained super speed and rammed into Sandshrew, knocking her out.

"I'm surprised you knew that Purge knows Quick Attack." said Rita.

"Purge knows Quick Attack?" Rita rolled her eyes.

"Sandshrew, return!" Jean recalled Sandshrew and waited for Roy's Poke'mon to attack, but Cuebone remained where he was. Cuebone waited for orders. Nothing.

"Quick Attack!"

Puge used Quick Attack and knocked out Cuebone, but he wasn't recalled. Jean angrily turned to Roy, who had crouched back down to talk to the wild Paras.

"Another time, I was hit with a flamethrower. I smelled like burned waffles for days." said Roy. The wild Paras sweatdropped again.

"Roy!" Jean yelled at her partner, who jumped at her sudden outburst.

"Sorry." Roy recalled Cuebone and went back to talking with the wild Paras, "I love striped pajamas!"

Jean whacked Roy with her rubber chicken again.

"Jessica, finish them off."

"Purge, Thundershock!"

"PikaaaaCHUUU!" Purge shocked Team Rocket at full power. They screeched in agony and there was an explosion. Now would be the part where Team Rocket would be blasting off. The air seemed to have lifted them up, carried them outside, and they were launched to the sky.

"We're blasting off!" Jean, Roy, and Farfetch'd cried in unison. Twinkle!

"Now that's over, let's go." Jessica lead Purge and Rita out of Mt. Moon and toward Cerulean City.

"I wonder if the author was aware that she defied the laws of physics." Rita mentioned.

"Maybe," Jessica replied, "Although, I didn't understand half of what you said."

Purge and Rita facefaulted.

"You two are funny."


	6. Confronting a Rival

White Pony: Sorry for the wait, my friends! All that matters is that it's here, right? Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon, McNuggets, or any references to The Wizard of Oz.

_**Chapter Six: Confronting a Rival.**_

When Jessica, Purge, and Rita stepped into Cerulean City, their surroundings turned blue.

"Wow! Everything's blue!" Jessica yelled in excitement.

"Yeah, it's Cerulean City." said Rita, "Every city has a different color. When you first step in a city, everything turns a different color."

"Coolness!" Jessica stepped out of Cerulean City and the surroundings turned back to normal. Then she went back into Cerulean City, where everything became blue again. She stepped back out and back again, changing the colors.

"Cut that out!"

"Okay!" Jessica squeaked happily.

"Pika." (Weirdo.) Purge muttered.

After Jessica and Rita healed their Poke'mon at the Poke'mon Center, they went into the house next door. There a baby Oddish with a band-aid on the side of its head and a cute little Sandshrew with an arm wrapped up in a bandage greeted them. While Rita bent down to pat the Oddish and the Sandshrew, Jessica jumped in front of the lady who lives in the house.

"Hello!" Jessica yelled, startling the lady and the Bulbasaur next to her. The Bulbasaur was wearing small reading glasses and holding a very thick book with his vines.

"Ba, Bulba Bulbasaur!" (Hey, I'm trying to read!) The Bulbasaur cried.

"Er-I take care of injured Poke'mon. I nursed this Bulbasaur back to perfect health. It needs a good trainer to take care of it now," said the lady, then she brightened up, "I know! Will you take care of this Bulbasaur?"

"Sure!" Jessica replied happily. Purge was glad that they were going to have a new friend on their team, "How do I capture it?"

The lady, Bulbasaur, and Purge facefaulted.

"You throw a Poke'ball at it!" Rita shouted from where she was sitting and she continued to pat the Oddish and the Sandshrew.

Jessica immediately threw an object at Bulbasaur, which hit him in the head, but nothing happened.

"_I am not a Poke'ball! I am your Poke'Dex!_" the Poke'Dex shouted at its owner.

The Poke'Dex showed a picture of a Poke'ball on its screen. Jessica studied the picture for several minutes before finally reaching into her pack to take out an empty Poke'ball. She held up the Poke'ball and looked back at the picture on the Poke'Dex's screen to confirm that she had the right object. When Jessica decided that the object in her hand was a Poke'ball, she threw it at the annoyed Bulbasaur and captured him.

"Yay, I caught it!" Jessica began dancing like an idiot. No guessing why she did it so masterfully.

"Good, let's go now." Rita pulled Jessica out of the house after retrieving Bulbasaur's Poke'ball and her Poke'Dex.

"Please take good care of Bulbasaur." the lady said as Jessica, Purge, and Rita left, "Why do I have a feeling that I made a big mistake?"

"Come, Rita! Come, Purge! Let us follow the Yellow Brick Road!"

"Pi?" (What?)

"You mean the Nugget Bridge?" asked Rita.

"What's a McNugget Bridge?" replied Jessica.

"I guess that means yes."

"Pi." (Yeah.) Purge agreed.

As they neared Nugget Bridge, weird music played in the background and a spiky-haired boy appeared.

"Yo, Jessica, how's it going? You still struggling along back here?" he sneered. It was William, Jessica's rival.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you for asking."

William blinked, "Right... I'm doing great! I caught a bunch of strong and smart Poke'mon! Let's see what you caught!"

"Okay!" Jessica took out two other Poke'balls and was about to release the Poke'mon contained in them.

"No, I mean a battle." William sweatdropped.

"Oh, why didn't you say so?"

"You have to be specific with her." Rita said to William.

"I know. I live next door to her." William replied.

"Sorry to hear that."

"I guess... Anyways, let's battle!" William turned back to Jessica and he released a Spearow.

"Go, Purge! Thundershock!"

"PikaaCHU!" Purge's attack knocked out William's Spearow in one hit.

"Spearow, return!" William recalled his Spearow and released a different Poke'mon, "Go, Rattata!"

"Rattata!" (I am great!) Rattata cried.

"Purge, come back!" Jessica ordered and she sent out another Poke'mon, "Go, Bazaar!"

"Bazaar?" Rita said confusedly.

"Pika?" (Bazaar?)

Bulbasaur was released. The Bulbasaur was wearing his reading glasses and reading an encyclopedia on dead languages held in his vines and he was holding in his teeth a pretty bookmark with a cute dolphin charm dangling from it on a piece of blue silk thread.

"What the?" said William.

"Ba?" (Huh?) the Bulbasaur placed the bookmark in his book and put it and his glasses away in a dimension hole, "Bulba." (Sorry.)

"Go, Rattata!" yelled William, "Hyper Fang!"

"Ra, Ra!" (Yes, sir!) Rattata bared its large fangs and leaped at Bulbasaur.

"Bazaar, use Tackle!"

Bazaar charged at Rattata and they crashed into each other before Rattata could use Hyper Fang.

"Bazaar, Tackle again!"

"Bulbasaur, Bulba!" (Take that, dummy!) Bazaar recovered from the crash and tackled Rattata.

"Ra!" (Ow!) Rattata cried in pain.

"Rattata, Quick Attack!"

With super speed, Rattata struck Bazaar with a Quick Attack. Bazaar fell back from the impact and he groaned in pain.

"Bazaar? Can you get up?" Jessica asked her Bulbasaur with concern.

"Bulba." (Yeah.) Bazaar slowly got to his feet, ready to continue the battle.

"Alright, Bazaar, use that one attack when the seedy little vine thingies think they're leeches!" Jessica ordered.

"Leech Seed?" Rita asked.

"Yeah, Leech Seed!" Jessica replied.

Bazaar rolled his eyes and released the hungry seeds from his bulb. The Leech Seed bound Rattata and drained its energy.

"Tackle, Bazaar!" Bazaar finished off Rattata with one final Tackle attack.

"Lucky." William muttered and he recalled Rattata, "Go, Eevee!"

"Ohwee." (Hello.) Said Eevee.

"Go, Bazaar, Tackle!"

"Eevee, Quick Attack!"

Eevee struck Bazaar hard before he could even charge. Swirls replaced Bazaar's eyes as he laid on his belly and groaning with pain.

"Bulbasaur..." (I surrender...)

"What happened? Rita, is Bazaar alright?" Jessica grabbed onto Rita's shoulders and shook her violently. Rita grabbed Jessica's wrists and stopped her from turning the cottage cheese in her stomach into a sour milkshake.

"Bazaar will be fine. He can't battle anymore."

"Y-You mean he's..." Jessica's eyes welled up with tears, "But he's too young to die!"

"He's not dying! He'll be fit to battle after he's healed at a Poke'mon Center!" Rita bellowed into Jessica's face.

"Oh, now I understand. So... should Bazaar go into his Poke'ball?"

"YES!"

"PIKA!" (YES!)

"Alright, Bazaar, come back." Bazaar was withdrawn into his Poke'ball, "Now what?"

"Send out another one!"

"Heh, now you know what I had to put up with everyday growing up with her." said William.

"I'm surprised you haven't gone insane."

"Well... unlike some people, I have patience."

"What is that suppose to mean!" Rita roared at William.

"You know what I mean."

"Grrrr... Jessica, kick his butt!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Jessica released another Poke'mon, "Go, Lakota!"

"Lakota?"

"Pika Pi?" (Lakota?)

It was Nidoran and she was eating one by one, sugar cubes that were piled up on a tray into the shape of an upside-down pyramid.

"I gave Lakota her nickname when I noticed that she was my only Poke'mon without one."

"When was that?"

"Just now."

"Pikachu." (Should've known.)

"Lakota, Double Kick!"

"Great strategy, Jessica!" Rita exclaimed, "Normal-type Poke'mon are weak against fighting-type moves!"

"Pi Pika Pi Pikachu Chu." (I don't think she's aware of that.)

"Normal-whats are what against what-type whats?" Jessica asked.

"Nothing."

"Pikachu." (I told you so.)

Lakota leaped into the air after eating the remaining sugar cubes and delivered a kick upon Eevee. Lakota recoiled back and launched another kick on Eevee, knocking him out.

"Hooray!" Jessica and Purge rejoiced.

"Take that!" Rita shouted at William.

"Eevee, return!" William scowled as he released his last Poke'mon, "Go, Sandshrew! Slash!"

William's Sandshrew scraped his sharp claws across Lakota's neck.

"Ni!" (Ow!) Lakota took a lot of damage, but she was still able to fight.

"Lakota, quick, use Tackle!"

Lakota charged at Sandshrew and rammed into him with sugar-driven strength. Sandshrew used Slash upon Lakota once more and knocked her out.


	7. Nugget Bridge is Falling Down

White Pony: What the heck, here's another chapter. Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: I could've been a dentist, but NOOO! I had to disobey my mother and become what I am today.

White Pony: That's the spirit! You're on!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon, she still doesn't own McNuggets or references to the Wizard of Oz. Nor does she own Jeopardy.

_**Chapter Seven: Nugget Bridge is Falling Down, Falling Down, Falling Down.**_

"Darn. Come back, Lakota!" Lakota was called back into her Poke'ball. Jessica looked down at Purge, who was still fresh, "Go on, Purge."

"Pika." (Alright.)

"This will be easy!" exclaimed William, "An electric Poke'mon against my ground Poke'mon."

"Shut up!" Rita snarled.

"Rita, that's not nice. He only said that this battle will be easy." said Jessica.

"Pi?" (What?)

Both Rita and William raised a brow.

"Fine. Stick up for your boyfriend." William burst out with laughter.

"Yeah, right!" William laughed, "Jessica my girlfriend? That will happen when a Snorlax flies!"

"Silly, Rita. Willy's not my boyfriend." Jessica smiled at Rita.

"William! It's William! Not Willy! William!" William yelled angrily at Jessica.

"Sorry, William."

"Let's just finish the battle!"

"Purge, Quick Attack!"

"Sandshrew, Sand Attack!"

Before Sandshrew could even use Sand Attack, Purge hit him with a Quick Attack.

"Sand Attack!" William yelled instantly.

Sandshrew sent a bunch of sand Purge's way. Purge inhaled a tiny amount of sand and she began coughing.

"Hang in there, Purge!" Jessica yelled at Purge, who was still in the veil of flying sand. Finally, the sand settled and Purge was still coughing.

"Slash!"

"Purge!"

Purge coughed and coughed and coughed. When Sandshrew was in attacking range, Purge immediately quit coughing and delivered a surprise Slam attack.

"What?" William shouted.

"Clever Pikachu!" cried Rita.

"Good job, Purge!"

Purge's Slam hook the rest of Sandshrew's hit points.

"Pika!" (I win!) Purge shouted menacingly.

"Aw, you just lucked out." said William.

"Pika Pi, Pika." (It's not luck, it's skill.)

"Yeah, it's skill." Jessica agreed with Purge.

"Whatever," said William, "Guess what? I got Bill to show me his rare Poke'mon. It added a lot of pages to my Poke'Dex. Since you're using his system, you should thank him."

"I think I will."

"I gotta get going. I've got a lot to accomplish. See ya." After that, William walked off.

"Yeah, that's right!" Rita yelled after William, "Just keep on walking, loser!"

"Rita." Jessica scolded. Rita rolled her eyes.

"Pika Pika Pi Pika, Pikachu?" (He's your rival, I presume?) Purge looked up at Jessica.

"Yeah." Jessica replied, "To the McNugget Bridge!"

"That's NUGGET Bridge."

"Oh, right."

"Chu." (Geez.)

"Rita, I don't think we're in Cerulean City anymore." said Jessica, for she noticed that their surroundings weren't all blue anymore.

"No kidding." Rita replied as she took out a map, "After we cross Nugget Bridge, we follow this dirt path."

"We follow the yellow dirt path to see the wizard?" asked Jessica and Purge facefaulted.

"No!" yelled Rita, "We go see Bill about his PC, remember?"

"Nope." Purge laughed. Jessica looked over Rita's shoulder to gaze at the map she held, "Oh! I like that blue path! Can we take that blue path?"

Rita looked from the map to Jessica, "Can you swim against river currents?" she asked.

"Oh, I know this one! Let me think." Jessica pondered.

"Pika Pikachu, Pi Pikachu." (At this rate, we'll be here all day.)

Jessica pondered and puzzled and pondered as the sound of a ticking clock and the Jeopardy game show music was playing in the background. Then a buzzer sounded.

"Uhh... none of the above?"

Rita stared in disbelief, "No! The answer is no!"

"No?" Jessica repeated.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"No!"

"No?"

"Yes!

"Yes?"

"No!"

"No?"

"NO!"

"Oh... What was the question again?"

"We can't go on this blue path because it's a river!"

"What about this one?"

"All blue baths are rivers!"

"All of them?"

"All of them."

"Wow..."

"Pikachu Pi Pika Chu Chu Pikachu, Chu Pi Pi Pikachu." (Of all the trainers I could've gotten, I got the dumbest one of all.) Purge mumbled to herself.

Jessica, Purge, and Rita walked along the Nugget Bridge and met five trainers. Jessica battled and defeated them all.

"I rock! Mwahahahahaha!" Jessica cried triumphantly.

"Not bad." said Rita.

"Pika Pi Pika. (Not bad at all.) Purge added.

"Congratulations! You've beaten all five trainers!" a random dude congratulated Jessica.

"Whoooo!"

"Yeah." he sweatdropped, "For your feat, you receive our fabulous prize!"

"But I wanna keep my feet." Jessica sweatdropped.

"He means you win a prize for beating all five trainers." said Rita.

"Oh, shiny!" Jessica gasped in awe as she recieved the shiny hunk of gold.

"By the way, would you like to join Team Rocket? We're..."

"NO!" Rita yelled instantly.

"I didn't ask you, I asked her." the random dude pointed at Jessica, who was busy staring at the Nugget.

"I don't care! She's not joining you low-life Rockets!"

"How dare-Wait! How did you know I was a Rocket?"

"You're a Rocket?" Jessica exclaimed as she stuffed the Nugget into her bag and looked up at the Rocket.

"Yes! And I want you!" he cried and he was now randomly wearing and Uncle Sam outfit, "I want you to join Team Rocket!"

"No, thanks." Jessica said simply. Purge and Rita gave smug looks to the Rocket.

"Come on, join."

"No, thanks."

"I'm telling you to join!"

"No, thanks."

"Alright. I'll make an offer you can't refuse!"

"No, thanks."

"Go, Rattata!" cried the Rocket as he released a Rattata.

"No, thanks."

"He wants to battle!" Rita yelled.

"Huh? Oh, sorry! Go, Lakota!" Jessica sent out her Nidoran, who was still hyped up on sugar.

"NI!" (HELLO!) Lakota screamed at Rattata, making it and the Rocket jump back in surprise.

"Lakota, Double Kick!" Although Lakota could attack twice, it took just one kick to knock out Rattata. The Rocket growled and recalled his Poke'mon and sent out another.

"Go, Zubat!"

"Lakota, come back! Go, Purge!"

"Pika! (Alright!) Purge cried happily and she ran forward to meet her opponent.

"Zubat, Bite!"

"Purge, Thundershock!"

"PikaaaCHUU!" Purge's Thundershock took out all of Zubat's hit points.

The Rocket recalled his Zubat and he hung his head in defeat.

"With your ability, you could become a top leader in Team Rocket."

"Why thank you." Jessica smiled at the petty Rocket. Both Purge and Rita imagined Jessica as the leader of Team Rocket and they burst out with laughter.

"What's so funny?" Jessica asked in extreme confusion, but Purge and Rita were too busy laughing to hear her, let alone answer her. Jessica shrugged and walked off with Purge and Rita following, still laughing hard.

Then they bumped into a sad-looking boy.

"Hi!" Jessica greeted happily, but the boy still kept his sad look.

"I'm not very good at raising Poke'mon. I should release my Charmander because I haven't raised it well," the boy looked from to ground to Jessica, "If you promise to take care of it, it's yours."

"Sure!" Jessica happily took the Poke'ball containing the Charmander, "Thank you!"


	8. Sweet Victory

White Pony: Whew... I decided to add one more chapter for this week or whenever I get the next one up. Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon, Bill from School House Rock, Candyland, or Sweet-N-Low.

_**Chapter Eight: Sweet Victory**_

"By any chance, haven't you been asking everyone that came by to take care of your Charmander?" Rita asked out of random curiosity.

"Yes, but everytime someone takes it, they come back later. Then they yell in my face, stuff Charmander's Poke'ball into my mouth, and they beat me up."

"That's not nice!" exclaimed Jessica.

"Pi!" (Yeah!) Agreed Purge.

"Is there something wrong with it?" asked Rita.

The boy began stammering nervously.

"It doesn't matter, let's go!" Jessica declared and she skipped along the pathway. Purge and Rita quickly ran to catch up with her. There, they met up with many trainers. Bazaar was the one to battle the rock Pokemon, Purge battled the water and flying-types, and Lakota fought the rest. Finally, there was one last trainer to battle then they could enter Bill's house. At first, she sent out a Pidgey, which Purge K-Oed, then she sent out an Oddish.

"Alright, Jessica, this is the perfect Poke'mon for Charmander to battle!" suggested Rita.

"Yeah? Thanks for the info, Rita!" Jessica faced her opponent and released the Charmander, "Go, Shetan!"

"Pikachu Pika." (Interesting nickname.)

"Char!" (Yeah!) Shetan cried in excitement.

Shetan turned to look back at his new trainer and his eye caught sight of the flame on his tail.

"CHAR! CHAAAA!" (FIRE! AHHHH!) Shetan shrieked in fright and he began running around in circles, trying to get away from the blaze.

Jessica, Purge, Rita, the opposing Oddish, and its trainer sweatdropped while watching Shetan run in circles and yelling in panic.

"What's wrong, Shetan?" Jessica worriedly asked her frightened Charmander, who continued screaming and running in circles.

"I don't know. Maybe something spooked him." Rita replied.

By now, Shetan had mad a circular hole in the ground up to his waist due to continuously running in circles.

"Get control of your Poke'mon and battle!" Rita bellowed.

"Shetan! Scratch!" Jessica ordered her Charmander.

"CHAAAAAAA!" (AHHHHHHH!) Shetan didn't hear his trainer's order and continued running and screaming.

"Pika!" (Shetan!)

"Maybe Shetan doesn't know his nickname. Call it by its real name."

"Charmander!"

"Char?" (Huh?) Shetan stopped running and climbed out of the circular hole he made and faced his opponent, "Mander." (Sorry.)

"It's alright. Use Scratch!" Shetan took a small portion of damage on Oddish, "Now use Ember!"

Shetan shot tiny flames from his tail and were sent raining upon Oddish. When Shetan saw the falling little fireballs, he threw himself to the ground, put his paws on his head, and he trembled in fear. Oddish was defeated and Jessica withdrew Shetan into his Poke'ball. Finally, she, Purge, and Rita could go see Bill, the world famous Poke'maniac.

"What the?" cried Rita as she eyed the strange sight before her within Bill's house. Purge walked up to the strange creature.

"Pika Pika?" (What are you?)

"What kind of Poke'mon is that?"

"Hiya! I'm a Poke'mon! No, I'm not." It said. It was merely a man in a chicken suit.

"I'm confused." said Jessica.

"Of course."

"Call me Bill. A true blue Poke'maniac!" then funky music was playing in the background. Then Bill began to sing, "They call me Bill. Yes, they call me Bill. And I'm standing here on Capitol Hill..."

Silence.

"Hey, what's with the skeptical look?" Jessica, Puge, and Rita were giving Bill a series of skeptical looks, "I got caught up in and experiment and I got mixed up."

"I can tell." said Rita.

"Can you help me out?"

"Sure we can!" Jessica chirped. Little did the group know, the experiment excuse was to cover up his real reason for wearing a chicken suit, but we'll not go into that.

"Go to the PC to activate that transporter thingy." Bill waddled into a chamber of the transporter thingy.

"Better let me do this." said Rita and she went over to the computer and pressed a few keys. Moments later, Bill emerged from the second chamber, free from the chicken suit.

"Pi Pikachu!" (Oh my gosh!) Purge yelled in surprise.

"Thanks, bud, I owe you one!" Bill said as he approached the group.

"No problem." said Rita.

"Yeah." Jessica added.

Purge had fainted.

"Did you come to see my Poke'mon Collection?" Before either girls could reply, Bill spoke again, "You didn't? That's a bummer. I have to thank you somehow."

Bill handed Jessica a ticket.

"It's a ticket to a cruise on the S.S. Anne. I can't stand fancy do's, so why don't you go instead of me?"

"But there's only two of us!" cried Rita.

"Uhhh... Look over there!" Bill cried and he pointed behind them. When Jessica and Rita looked, Bill jumped off of a cliff that appeared inside his house.

"Great." Rita muttered.

After Purge regained consciousness, she and Jessica and Rita went back to Cerulean City and Jessica healed her Poke'mon at the Poke'mon Center. Then they left the building.

"Rita, where's the Gym?" Jessica asked.

"It's the big building over there." Rita replied.

"I don't see it. That big building is in the way!" Jessica whined.

"That big building is the Gym!"

"Oh, I see it now!"

Purge laughed slightly and they entered the Gym to meet Misty, who was playing Candyland with her Poke'mon. Misty yawned and Staryu moved its piece into the winner's spot. It jumped up and down in victory.

"Hyah!"

"Another game? But we've been playing for three days straight!" Mist whined, "No, that's enough, you two! I'm done playing!"

Staryu and Starmie hung their upper bodies in sadness due to lacking real heads. Misty withdrew them into their Poke'balls.

"Hey, do you know where Misty is?" asked Jessica.

"That would be me." replied Misty.

"Let's battle!"

Misty sighed and released her Staryu, "Go, Staryu!"

"Go, Shetan!"

"No!" Rita bellowed angrily and Purge slapped her forehead.

"No?"

"I'm not starting this again." Rita growled through clenched teeth, "There's no way Shetan can beat Staryu."

It was true. Shetan hardly had any training plus he was weak against Staryu's critical Water Gun. Jessica recalled her fainted fire Poke'mon and sent out Bazaar to battle Staryu. Bazaar put away his reading glasses and encyclopedia and was ready to rumble.

"Bulbasaur!" (Let's go already!)

"Bazaar, Vine Whip!" Bazaar took out a large portion of Staryu's hit points with his Vine Whip.

"Staryu, Tackle!" Misty ordered.

It was a critical hit and Bazaar was out for the count. Purge was sent out to finish off Staryu after Bazaar was recalled.

"Thundershock!"

"PikaaCHUU!" Purge defeated Staryu and it was recalled.

"Go, Starmie! Tackle!"

This attack was also a critical hit, but Purge was still standing.

"Thunder Wave!" Purge sent out a wave of electricity that paralyzed Starmie, but it could still attack.

"Bubblebeam!" Starmie sent out a fury torrent of bubbles at Purge. She managed to dodge a few, but she wasn't fast enough to dodge them all. Purge's hit points were in the red zone.

"Chu..." (Whew...) Purge panted.

"Thundershock!"

"PikaaCHUUU!" Purge had done a lot of damage, but not enough. Starmie had a little less than half of its energy.

"Finish it off with Bubblebeam!" Starmie's Bubblebeam attack had done its job and finished off Purge.

"Geez, her water Poke'mon are tough." said Rita.

Purge was recalled somehow without going inside the Poke'ball or having to go back herself or have her trainer get her. Jessica looked at the Poke'ball containing her last Poke'mon and released it. Lakota, of course, was eating sugar.

"Tackle!" Misty ordered.

When Lakota was about to rip open a new bag of sugar, she leaped out of the way to avoid Starmie's attack. Starmie's Tackle had ripped open a large hole in Lakota's sugar bag. Starmie jumped back as soon as Lakota came charging. She happily licked up the sugar that had poured out of the bag.

"Water Gun!"

Lakota leaped out of the way again to avoid an attack. The Water Gun had hit the sugar and it was melting. Lakota rushed over to her sugar pile.

"NI! Ni Nidoran! Nidoran! Ni, Nidoran!" (No! My sugar is melting! Melting! Oh, what a world!) She sobbed. Starmie was puzzled of the Nidoran's strange behavior.

Lakota stopped crying. She looked up at Starmie and snarled angrily. She ripped open 47 packs of Sweet-N-Low, ate them, and waited for her trainer's orders.

"Lakota, Tackle!"

"NI!" (REVENGE!) Lakota bellowed before ramming into Starmie.

"Bubblebeam!" Starmie fired its Bubblebeam, but the sugar powering up Lakota gave her the speed to dodge every bubble. Starmie was baffled by Lakota's great speed.

Lakota broke into a run and skidded to a stop in the puddle of sugary water and sending it at Starmie. Starmie had been blinded! Then it realized that it had no eyes and began to wonder how it could see.

"Poison Sting!" Lakota sent out hundreds of glowing barbs at Starmie.

"Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!" Starmie yelped every time a barb hit it.

"Tackle!" with one final attack, Lakota ran into Starmie at full speed, sending Starmie flying backwards into a wall. The impact was so strong, Starmie's body left a hole in the was. Starmie was defeated.

"We won!" Jessica rejoiced.

"Pika!" Purge also rejoiced.

"Wow!" Rita was amazed with Lakota's performance.

"Nidoran Ni Ni!" (Victory is mine!) Lakota cried. Suddenly, she began glowing.

"Rita, what's wrong with Lakota?"

"Nothing's wrong with her. Lakota is evolving!"

"No, she's not. She's a Nidoran."

"I mean she's changing."

"Lakota doesn't wear clothes."

Lakota's body was growing and growing. When the transformation was complete, Lakota's body was no longer glowing. Lakota evolved into Nidorina.

"Lakota evolved into a Nidorina!" Rita exclaimed.

"Wow." Jessica gasped in awe at her Poke'mon's new and more powerful form.

"RAN!" (MOO!) Lakota roared.

"Sometimes when Poke'mon evolve, their personalities change." said Rita.

"But I like Lakota the way she was!"

"Pi." (Yeah.) Purge hung her head.

"NI!" (SUGAR!) Lakota ripped open a fresh bag of sugar and chugged it down.

"I don't think she's changed one bit!" Jessica beamed at her Poke'mon.

"Even if she did, I don't think her obsession with sugar will ever change."

"Pikachu." (That's for sure.)

"Excuse me, you're holding up the line." Misty pointed to a long line of challengers that the group was standing in front of.

"Sorry." Jessica, Rita, and Purge apologized and they left the Cerulean City Gym.


	9. Trouble with Charmander

White Pony: Helloooooooo, people! Here's another installment! You're up, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: Yeah, whatever. White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon. She wishes that she did.

White Pony: I sure do!

_**Chapter Nine: Trouble with Charmander**_

After defeating a Rocket, Jessica recieved a Technical Machine that teaches Dig. Then the Rocket magically disappeared.

"That was weird." said Rita.

"Pi, Pikachu." (Yeah, it sure was.) Agreed Purge.

"Rita! I can't get this DVD to play!" Jessica whined. She had placed the Technical Machine compact disc into a DVD player that had materialized out of nowhere.

Purge and Rita face faulted. Rita went over to Jessica and placed a hand on her shoulder while trying to keep herself from yelling.

"Jessica... that's not a DVD... that's a Technical Machine..." Rita explained slowly.

Jessica had a blank expression on her face as a strand of saliva dripped from her mouth. Rita slapped her forehead and Purge groaned.

"Technical Machines are TM's for short." Rita began.

"TM? Like the copyrighting label?" asked Jessica.

"...No..." Rita replied.

"Oh." Purge shook her head slowly in disapproval.

"TM's are used to teach new attacks to Poke'mon."

"That's cool!" Jessica exclaimed.

"Yes, it is."

"Hey, Purge, wanna learn a new attack?" Jessica bent over to her Pikachu, who nodded happily.

"Pi!" (Yeah!)

"Okay!" Jessica held the TM to Purge's head and in a few seconds, Purge learned Dig.

"An electric Poke'mon that knows a ground attack," Rita mused, "Very unique."

Jessica, Purge, and Rita traveled south and made a stop at a Daycare ran by an old gentleman.

"Hello, I run a Daycare Center. I can raise a Poke'mon for you. Would you like me to raise one?" asked the Daycare man.

"Sure! Why not?" Jessica handed the Daycare man a Poke'ball.

"Hooray! Now my life isn't meaningless anymore!" he shouted happily.

"Take good care of Koi!" Jessica skipped out of the Daycare and Rita and Purge followed her.

"Koi? Who is Koi?" asked Rita.

"My Magicarp." replied Jessica, "I bought him at the Poke'mon Center near Mt. Moon."

"YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE THINGS!" Jessica crouched in fear and surprise, "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"I dunno."

"Pikachu." (Idiot.)

They eventually went through an underground path with cheery and bouncy music in the background.

"Where did the happy music go?" Jessica asked Rita.

"We left the underground path." Rita replied, trying to control her frustration.

Jessica looked around, "So we have!"

"This is a nice grassy area. An ideal spot for training."

"Pikachu." (Good idea.) Purge nodded.

"Alrighty then! Shetan, come out!" Jessica released her Charmander to begin his training.

"Charmander." (Fresh air.) Shetan turned his head to look back at his trainer, but caught sight of the flame on his tail, "CHAR!" (FIRE!) Shetan screamed frantically.

"Pika!" (Shetan!) Purge cried.

"Shetan!" Rita cried also.

"Shetan!" Jessica joined in.

"Pikachu!" (Jessica!)

"Purge!" cried Jessica.

"Jessica!" Rita yelled.

"Rita!" cried Jessica.

"Pika!" (Rita!)

"Purge!" yelled Rita.

"Monkey!" Jessica yelled happily.

Everyone was silent, even Shetan.

"...Okaaaay..." said Rita.

Jessica knelt to Shetan, "Shetan, what's wrong?"

"Charmander Char?" (Is the fire gone?)

"Pi Pika?" (What fire?)

"Mander Char." (I saw a fire.)

Purge decided not to mention the flame on Shetan's tail. For it might ruin him and make him untrainable if he knew that there would always be a flame burning at the end of his tail. Purge learned that Shetan has pyrophobia, fear of fire. She looked to the two humans and wondered if they were smart enough to figure it out. Right on cue, Rita spoke up.

"I know what's up with Shetan."

"What?" asked Jessica.

"He's a pyrophobic."

"A what?"

"Pyrophobic." Rita repeated.

" I heard you, but what is a pyrocibohp?"

"A pyrophobic is someone who is afraid of fire."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!) Shetan ran around until Purge calmed him down.

"So Shetan is afraid of fire?"

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"Yes, Shetan is afraid of fire."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"What does that have to do with training?"

Rita groaned in frustration, "Shetan is a fire..."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"...type Poke'mon that posses fire..."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"...attacks, so that creates a serious problem."

"Wow... a fire..."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"...Poke'mon that is afraid of fire."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"I think we should stop saying 'fire'..."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"...because everytime we say 'fire'..."

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"...Shetan yells like that." said Rita.

"Shetan will yell like that every time we say 'fire'?"

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"Yes! Stop saying 'fire'!" Rita yelled, then she realized what she said.

"CHAR!" (FIRE!)

"SHETAN, STOP!" Rita roared. Shetan quieted instantly.

"Don't yell at Shetan, Rita!" Jessica yelled at Rita.

"Sorry, but I had to get Shetan's attention!"

"Oh, okay."

"Shetan... just because someone says... 'fire'..." Shetan winced at the word, "...it doesn't mean that there is a fire."

Again, Shetan winced and turned to Purge, "Char?" (Purge?)

Purge nodded, "Pi Pika Pi Pikachu Pika Pikachu." (You don't have to worry whenever someone talks about fire.)

Shetan nodded, showing that he understood.

"How are we going to train Shetan, Rita?" Jessica asked.

"We?" Rita scoffed, "Shetan is your Poke'mon, so it's your problem and only for you to figure out how to train him."

"Oh, alright." Jessica turned to her faithful Pikachu, "Want to help me train Shetan, Purge?"

"Chu, Pi Pikachu Chu Pikachu." (No, I am merely a Poke'mon myself.)

"Thanks, Purge!" Jessica happily thanked her Pikachu and turned to Shetan.

"Pika? Pika Pi Chu!" (What? I said no!) Purge yelled, but Jessica paid no attention to her.

"Okay, Shetan, see that trainer over there?" Jessica pointed to a Bug Catcher that was chewing on his hat, "We're going to battle him."

"Charmander?" (We are?) Shetan followed his trainer to confront the Bug Catcher.

"Hey!" Jessica shouted at the Bug Catcher.

The Bug Catcher screamed like a girl and hid his chewed up hat, "What the?"

"Will you battle with me?"

"Never!" the Bug Catcher declared.

"Thanks!" Jessica cried happily, "Go, Shetan!"

Shetan leaped forward to challenge any Poke'mon the Bug Catcher might send out.

"But!... I!... Oh!...Fine! Go, Caterpie!" the Bug Catcher sent out a Caterpie.

"Shetan, Ember!" Shetan's flaming tail sent out many embers that rained upon the Caterpie.

"CHAR!" (FIRE!) Shetan caught sight of his tail and again, tried to run away from it.

"Pikachu." (Not again.) Purge sighed.

The Bug Catcher sweatdropped, "What's the matter with your Poke'mon? It's as if its afraid of its own tail."

"No kidding." said Rita.

Suddenly, a light bulb flashed above Jessica's head, "Hang on! I have an idea!"

Everyone around them gasped, including the flowers that suddenly gained faces and the ability to articulate.

"Come here, Shetan." Jessica ordered and Shetan obeyed. She pulled something out of her bag and strapped it on Shetan's head. Jessica stepped aside for all to see. She had put blinkers on Shetan so he could only see in front of him.

"Pi..." (What..)

"The..." said Rita.

"Heck?" The Bug Catcher finished.

"Blinkers!" Jessica happily replied.

The Caterpie hadn't been knocked out just yet.

"Tackle!" The Bug Catcher commanded. Shetan's speed wasn't high enough to avoid the attack.

"Shetan, finish it off with Scratch!"

"Charmander!" (Hurrah!) Shetan roared as he finished off the Caterpie. The Bug Catcher withdrew Caterpie and sent out a Weedle.

"Shetan, Ember!" Jessica sang.

"Char!" (Roar!) Shetan spun around and fired his attack and thanks to the blinkers, he didn't see his fiery tail. He also didn't see his opponent being singed by the embers because he faced the opposite direction when he stopped spinning. Shetan had used a fire attack without even seeing it.

"Pikachu!" (He did it!) Purge cheered.

"It worked!" Jessica rejoiced.

"I don't believe it. Her weird idea actually worked," Rita said to herself, "She just might become something after all."


	10. All Aboard the TitanicErSS Anne

White Pony: Hello! Here's the list of my wonderful reviewers from the last five chapters!

**Jenvaati: **Thanks a bunch for reviewing my fic so much! I appreciate it!

**GoBulbasaur:** Yay!

**YankeeFan2: **Thanks!

**Alchemistangel: **Yes, master.

Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon or the Titanic or Jaws.

_**Chapter Ten: All Aboard the Titanic... Er-S.S. Anne!**_

It was a victory that Shetan was proud of. In fact, everyone was proud, except for the Bug Catcher. Shetan also managed a win in a close match with a Weepinbell. After the loss, Weepinbell and its trainer began weeping.

"Pika Pikachu." (Weeping Weepinbell.) Purge commented.

"I don't get it." Jessica said.

"I don't even think I want to know." Rita mused.

Then they met up with a female Cooltrainer with a tough-looking Cuebone. Jessica sent out Bazaar.

"Vine Whip!" Jessica ordered happily.

"Bulba, Ba Saur!" (Take that, you bonehead!) Bazaar managed to K.O. the Cuebone with a single attack.

"Yay! Good job, Bazaar!"

"Bulbasaur." (Thank you.) Bazaar was withdrawn into his Poke'ball. It wasn't long until Shetan was up to battle a Butterfree.

"Ember!"

"Char!" (Roar!) Shetan's blinkers prevented him from seeing any fire and successfully landed the fire attack on Butterfree.

"Free!" (Ow!) Butterfree cried in pain.

"Butterfree, Confusion!" the Bug Catcher ordered. Butterfree unleashed its psychic attack and dropped Shetan's hit points to the red zone. Shetan was sent flying into the ground. When he got to his feet, Butterfree was nowhere in sight.

"Charmander?" (Where did she go?) Butterfree was hovering beside Shetan, but because of the blinkers, he could only see in front of him.

"Shetan, look out!" Rita yelled.

"Pikachu!" (To your left!)

Shetan turned to the right.

"Pika, Pikachu!" (No, your other left!)

"There's more than one left?" Jessica asked Purge, who just ignored her trainer.

Shetan turned to the left, but Butterfree flew to his rear.

"Tackle!" Butterfree flew forward for a sneaky Tackle.

"Ember!" Shetan spouted fire from his tail and singed Butterfree before she could use Tackle. Butterfree dropped like a fly, defeated.

Jessica sighed a breath of relief.

"Pika..." (Whew...)

"Nice." said Rita.

When they met up with two more trainers, Rita insisted on battling them. She did and she won. They finally entered Vermillion City and, of course, their surroundings turned orange.

"Sweet!" Jessica cried out before entering the Poke'mon Center.

"We still need to figure out how the both of us are going to get on the S.S. Anne when we have only one ticket." said Rita as she, Jessica, and Purge left the Poke'mon Center.

"I have an idea!" exclaimed Jessica.

"I've got a better idea." Rita proclaimed.

Rita, who was pulling a rolling suitcase, led Purge and a suspicious-looking Jynx to the dock where the ticket man awaited them. The ticket man was leaning back lazily in a folding chair.

The ticket man put down his magazine, "Ticket please."

Rita flashed the S.S. Anne ticket, "Here it is. One ticket for me." Rita handed the ticket man the ticket, "My Pikachu... and... my Jynx are coming aboard with me... Isn't that right... Jynx?"

"Quack." the Jynx replied. Rita and Purge sweatdropped.

The ticket man cocked his eyebrow, "Whatever." the ticket man bit off one half of the ticket, swallowed it, and handed the other half to Rita.

"...Thanks..."

"Sure, enjoy your cruise." he said unenthusiastically as he returned to reading his magazine.

Rita sighed. She with the suitcase, Purge, and the Jynx walked up the ramp.

"Just a minute!" the ticket man yelled suddenly. Rita, Purge, and the Jynx froze, "Let me see your suitcase."

"Stay here, you two." Rita said to Purge and the Jynx and she rolled her suitcase down the ramp to meet the ticket man.

He took one glimpse at the suitcase and went back to his magazine, "Nice suitcase. Have a good trip."

Rita rolled her eyes and dragged her suitcase up the ramp where Purge and the Jynx had been waiting for her, "Let's go."

"Ello, ello! I am the guy who directs people to their cabins and I direct people to their cabins!" a perky guy in a nice French suit greeted Rita aboard the ship.

"H-Hi?"

"Let's get you and your darling Pikachu and your weird-looking Jynx, that looks like a young girl with an I.Q. equivalent to a basket of fruit wearing a costume to pass herself as a Jynx, to your cabin!"

"Right." Rita replied.

"Let's not dilly dally!" exclaimed the guy who directs people to their cabins, "Let's go, come on, this way, this way, over here, let's go, come on now, over here, this way."

Rita and Purge were becoming irritated. Finally, they arrived to a vacant room.

"Here we are, this is it, right here, this is the place, I like pie!"

SLAM!

"Freak." Rita muttered when she slammed the door in the guy who directs people to their cabins' face.

"Pika." (He is.)

"We made it, Jessica." said Rita and Jessica popped out of the suitcase.

"Ta-da!"

"Yeah... Alright, Jynx, we got you on. Go have fun!" Rita opened the door to let Jynx out and Jynx went to join the party on the deck.

Right after Rita closed the door, someone knocked, "Room service!"

"I didn't call for room service!" Rita went toward the door.

"I did!" Jessica stated happily.

"What?... How?... We just got here!" Rita exclaimed.

"I'm special." Jessica replied.

"Sure." Rita opened the door. It was the guy who directs people to their cabins. He was holding a platter with a pile of sourdough grilled cheddar cheese sandwiches.

"Here are your grilled cheese sandwiches, ma'am. Here they are, right here, your sandwiches, here they are, enjoy your sandwiches, I can't do math."

"THANK YOU!" Rita bellowed angrily and she snatched the tray of grilled cheese sandwiches and slammed the door.

"YAY! My grilled cheese sandwiches are here!" Jessica took the tray, sat on the bed, set the tray at her side, picked up a sandwich, and took a zealous bite. Then Purge hopped up onto the bed and sniffed the pile of sandwiches.

"Go ahead, Purge!" Jessica said after swallowing. Then she released Bazaar, Shetan, and Lakota to help her eat the grilled cheese sandwiches. Each of the Poke'mon took a sandwich and examined it.

"Want it, Rita?" Jessica waved a sandwich in Rita's face, "It's cheddar!" She sang.

"Sure." Rita took the sandwich and bit into the crispy sourdough bread and gooey cheddar cheese.

"Pika Pikachu!" (This is so good!) Purge exclaimed as she drooled while gazing starry-eyed at her sandwich she had bitten in. Bazaar ate his slowly, Shetan ate his in one bite, Lakota dumped sugar onto hers and ate it.

Let's see what the guy who directs people to their cabins is up to.

"What a nice young lady she was. Very friendly, quite..."

"FREEZE!" several Officer Jennys surrounded the guy who directs people to their cabins, "You're under arrest for... serving sourdough grilled cheddar cheese sandwiches!"

"What's wrong with that? Why am I in trouble for that? How come that's wrong?"

"As I recall, a witness saw that one of the sandwiches was on rye bread and had Swiss cheese." an Officer Jenny replied and the other Officer Jennys gasped.

"You'll never take me alive! You'll never get me!" the guy who directs people to their cabins ran out on the deck, through the party, and leaped into the ocean, "Wheeeee!"

SPLASH!

"I escaped! Yes! I got away! They didn't get me! They..." the guy who directs people to their cabins was interrupted when the "Jaws" theme played in the background.

Something was swimming through the water while creating piles of foam that broke away and was carried away by the ocean current. Then it emerged.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" he screamed like a girl and he was bound by at least forty tentacles.

"Tenta, Cruel!" (Sup, dawg!) It said as it foamed at the mouth and shook the guy who directs people to their cabins like a maraca. As the Tentacruel shook his victim, Spanish music played in the background. The Tentacruel began dancing on the ocean's surface as he shook his human maraca. Then the music stopped, "Tenta!" (Olay!) The Tentacruel stuffed the guy who directs people to their cabins in his foamy mouth, swallowed him, and dove back into the sea.

After the Officer Jennys witnessed that, they rejoiced and did a happy dance.

Back in the cabin, Jessica, Rita, Purge, Lakota, Bazaar, and Shetan were up against a rye bread and Swiss grilled cheese sandwich.

"Stay back, guys. Don't make any sudden movements." Jessica warned.

"Come on! It's just a stupid sandwich!" Rita bent down to pick up the sandwich, but she recoiled when it began growling and barking, "What the heck?"

Then the sandwich roared like an angry Onix. Jessica, Rita, Purge, Lakota, Bazaar, and Shetan ran out of the cabin with the sandwich hopping after them.


	11. Party on, Dudes!

White Pony: Sorry for the long wait, my lovely reviewers. Disclaimer Dude, you do your thing.

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon, the Jolly Green Giant, American Idol or its three judges, Hank Williams or any other references.

White Pony: Just don't hurt me for the delay.

_**Chapter Eleven: Party on, Dudes!**_

"Can somebody stop that crazy sandwich?" Rita screamed.

"Zubat, Confuse Ray!" someone yelled.

"Zuuuuubat!" (Heeere's Johnny!) cried Zubat as he used Confuse Ray on the demented sandwich.

"I am the Jolly Green Giant!" the sandwich proclaimed as it jumped off of the ship and was eaten by the rabid Tentacruel.

The sandwich's former victims breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thanks for helping us out, dude!" Jessica happily thanked the Zubat's trainer who resembled a male cooltrainer.

"Don't thank me. Thank Zubat," he looked at his Zubat who blushed with embarrassment, "He did most of the work."

Jessica and her Poke'mon said their "thank yous", but Rita was silent. For she had a dreamy expression on her face.

"Rita? What do you say?" Jessica said to Rita like a mother trying to teach her child manners, "Rita?"

"Yeah..." Rita replied blankly.

"You're welcome. By the way, my name is Jake."

"Hi, Jake! I'm Jessica, this is my partner Purge. This is Lakota, Bazaar, and Shetan!"

"Sweet nicknames."

"Thanks!" Jessica turned to Rita, "And Miss Peanut Butter Mouth here is Rita."

"What!" Rita snapped out of her trance.

"Hey, Rita." Jake suddenly saved Jessica from a bashing by gaining Rita's attention, "What kind of Poke'mon do you have?"

"I only have two, both of them birds." Rita replied.

"Yeah? I have a bird too." Jake took out a Poke'ball and released a one-headed Doduo, "This is 'Doduno', my best friend."

Rita gazed at Doduno in admiration, "She's very cute!"

"Thanks! How did you know that Doduno is a 'she'?"

"Easy, male Doduos have a brownish plumage and females have a more tawny tint."

Jessica wasn't paying attention, she was too busy mingling with other trainers.

"No way! Cheese is much smarter than grapes!" she said to a random trainer.

"What are you talking about? Who are you?" the random trainer replied. Her Poke'mon, however, watched the chemistry between Rita and Jake build. Except for Lakota, who was devouring the sugar cubes at the beverage table.

"That's amazing." Jake said in awe, "You sure do know a lot about bird Poke'mon."

"Bird Poke'mon are my favorite." said Rita.

"Yeah? Mine too!"

"No way!" Rita exclaimed.

"Yay." Rita giggled. She and Jake gazed into each other's eyes for a moment.

"KAREOKE TIME!" someone yelled on the speaker.

"Whoooo!" Jessica quickly dashed away to the stage to sing in front of everyone, "PICK ME! I WANNA SING! PICK ME! PICK MEEE!"

"Oi." Rita's hand hit her forehead as she groaned with embarrassment.

Jake, however, laughed in amusement, "Come on, Rita, let's cheer her on."

"Er...sure...," Rita replied while following Jake to the front row, dreading Jessica's attempt to entertain the full crowd of kareoke fans and the three judges from American Idol that somehow managed to find themselves aboard. They were most likely there for the free food. Purge and the others too, seemed embarrassed and denied the fact that they knew her when they were questioned by other Poke'mon. Except for Lakota, who was participating in a sugar chugging contest.

Jessica sand somewhat off-key to a few of Hank Williams' country/western songs. She had to be dragged off the stage and directed towards the all-you-can-eat buffet in order to keep her from resisting. She began to gorge herself on cheese and calamari.

"Well," Jake began, "That wasn't as bad as you thought, wasn't it, Rita?"

"Yeah," Rita replied, "It was worse."

"Oh, lighten up will you?" Jake playfully nudged Rita.

"Great party! Isn't it, Rita? Yeah!" Jessica popped up between Rita and Jake so suddenly, startling them.

"Pardon , madam," a French waitress holding a tray of fried shrimp appeared, "Vould you care to try some of zee fried shrimp?"

"YOU BET!" Jessica said in excitement as she took a couple of pieces of fried butterfly shrimp from the platter, "Nice fake French accent, sir!"

"Ma'am!" the French waitress tried her best to restrain her anger.

"Ma'am, sorry. You're halfway there of sounding like the real thing."

The French waitress' eyes twitched in anger and she angrily smashed the tray hard onto the floor, gaining everyone's attention.

"STUPID TV ADVERTISEMENT!" she roared, "Those tapes guaranteed that we would learn French, accent and all in twelve seconds!"

"Que?" said another waiter that suddenly appeared.

"Idiot!" the waitress hissed and she slapped the waiter.

"What happened to your fake French accent? Jessica asked and she shoved pieces of popcorn chicken into her mouth.

Rita, Jack, Purge, and the others except for Lakota who was still chugging sugar, sweatdropped. The waitress payed no heed to her.

"What language tape did you order?" she demanded of her male companion.

"Espanole." he replied.

"Spanish?"

"Si."

"Stop speaking Spanish, Roy!" she bellowed angrily. Then she realized that she had blown Roy's cover. Rita and Jessica's Poke'mon gasped.

"Okay! Okay!" Roy cried desperately to avoid another bashing in the head, "Sorry, Jean!"

"It's you again!" Rita accused the waitress and waiter.

"Who?" Jake asked.

"Team Rocket!"

"Numbskulls!" a Farfetch'd appeared and scolded Jean, "Ya blew our cover, Jean!"

"That's **_my_** job!" Roy whined.

"Doesn't matter now! Time for the motto!"

"Jake, I highly advise you to cover your ears for this." Rita advised as the theme music began playing.

"It can't be that bad."

"To protect the world from dangerous freaks!"

"To pelt them all with smelly meats!"

"To relinquish society of junk mail!"

"To go to the mall and see what's on sale!"

"Jean!" Jean ripped off her waitress uniform to reveal her Rocket uniform.

"Roy!" Roy also stripped his waiter uniform, but to reveal a tuxedo instead. Then he ripped off the tuxedo to reveal a pink tutu. Finally when he ripped off the pink tutu, his Rocket uniform was revealed.

"Team Rocket blast off with speed and might!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Farfetch'd!" Farfetch'd cried proudly, "Dat's right!"

After some constructive criticism from the three judges from American Idol, Jean angrily tossed Simon Cowell overboard and he was mauled by the rabid Tentacruel.

"You three look familiar." Jessica commented as she gazed at Team Rocket while finishing her bucket of popcorn chicken.

"You've gotta be kidding me." Jean said in irritation.

"Pikachu." (I wish.)

"Jean... Roy... Psyduck."

"Farfetch'd!"

"...Jean... Roy... Psyduck... Farfetch'd..." Jessica attempted to correct herself. Everyone else facefaulted, "You guys are the 'Three Ninjas'!"

"NO!" Jean bellowed.

"Three blind mice?"

"Unbelievable... She's even dumba dan you, Roy." said Farfetch'd, "An I didn't think dat was possible!"

"Yay! I'm not the dumbest person we know!" Roy rejoiced.

"Never mind! Poke'mon battle!" Jean let out her Sandshrew and Roy released his Cuebone.

"Why should we battle you?" Jake asked, "You didn't even ask if we wanted to battle."

"Give us your Poke'mon and you won't have to battle."

"No way!"

"Yay! Meowth fight!" Jessica bounced up and down excitedly.

"Let me handle this, Jake." Rita offered, "We still have some unfinished business to take care of."

"Pika?" (We?)

Rita released Spearow and Pidgeotto, "Alright, guys, time to avenge your last defeat! Go!"

"Spear!" (Yeah!)

"Geottooo!" (Alright!)

Spearow swooped down several times at Sandshrew with his Fury Attack until she fainted. Pidgeotto delivered a critical hit Quick Attack on Cuebone and knocked him out.

"Yay!" Jessica cheered.

"Pikachu!" (Yay, Rita!)

"Awesome!" exclaimed Jake. Rita's spirits soared with her bird Poke'mon at the sound of Jake's voice praising their performance.

Jessica's other Poke'mon were chowing down at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Jessica briefly went back the buffet to stock up on jumbo fried shrimp, breaded mozzarella sticks, cheesy garlic bread, and ball park franks. She has good taste in food doesn't she?

"Farfetch'd! I'll beat da two of youse like last time!" Farfetch'd lunged forward, armed with his leek and ready to strike.

"Spearow, Leer! Pidgeotto, Wing Attack!" Rita ordered.

Spearow gave Farfetch'd a threatening glare that lowered his defense, then Pidgeotto struck him fast with her Wing Attack.

"Ow!" Farfetch'd ran behind his human teammates in his cowardice, "I ain't battlin dose guys anymore!"

"You lose! Get out of here!"

"Quick, Roy, into the pod!" Jean grabbed Farfetch'd as she and Roy ran inside a pod that had just appeared. They blasted off through the ship's ceiling and into the sky.


	12. Iceburg!

White Pony: Yayness! Another chapter! I had so much fun writing this chapter and I hope you all have just as much fun reading it!

Disclaimer Dude: Whoopie... White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon or any other references that I'm too lazy to mention.

_**Chapter Twelve: ICEBERG!**_

"That... was random," Rita mused as she gazed up at the large hole in the ceiling.

"It sure was," Jake agreed.

The Poke'mon nodded in mutual agreement, except for Lakota. She was at a hot dog eating contest. Just kidding. She was still at her sugar chugging contest where she had shattered the world record and still kept on taking it in.

"Everybody, run for your lives!" a panicked voice screeched. It was the Captain, "There's an iceberg a comin!"

Everybody blinked for a moment. Then when they finally comprehended what the Captain said, they cried out loud and went into a frenzy. People ran in circles, knocked objects over, and knocked each other over. People jumped overboard and became snacks for the rabid Tentacruel, people fought each other for no reason like crazy housewives at Christmas shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. Some curled up in corners and sucked their thumbs. The Captain was sobbing uncontrollably and he wiped his tears away with Purge's tail before he was shocked.

Rita looked around the room at the screaming people. Her eyes fell upon a middle-aged man dragging himself on the floor while trying to escape the Jynx that was gnawing on his legs. Then she saw an old man giving suggestive looks at a soda machine that had been crushed into the shape of a Growlithe chasing its tail after Lakota drank all of the soda. Rita shuddered. She whistled loudly, getting everyone's attention.

"Settle down, people! We're not sinking yet!" Rita roared, "Captain!"

"Eh?" the Canadian Captain looked up from a Victoria Secret magazine to Rita.

"You're suppose to be steering the ship _away_ from the iceberg!"

"No, that's the Captain's job... Wait! I _am_ the Captain! I must save my ship and the losers aboard it!" the Captain said with determination.

Then the ship shook violently, sending everyone falling to the floor.

"**_We're sinking!"_** a faint voice screamed in panic.

"Well... I better be going," the Captain jumped overboard and he fell victim to the rabid Tentacruel.

"Now can we panic?" a Youngster asked.

"Sure," Rita sighed.

Everyone else instantly went back into their panicked frenzy.

"Wow, this party's getting crazy!" Jessica said excitedly.

Jake cocked an eyebrow and Rita shook with rising anger.

"They're not partying, they're panicking!" Rita bellowed.

"How come?"

"Because we're sinking!"

Jessica blinked in confusion.

"The ship that we're on is sinking!"

"I know that," Jessica rolled her eyes.

"At least she's not panicking," Jake stated.

"Yeah."

"There's nothing to be scared of, we have our Poke'mon to aid us."

Everyone on the ship instantly froze and they realized that the idiot was right. So they released their Poke'mon if they already haven't done so.

"Pika, Pikachu!" (Hey, everyone!) Purge hopped on a table, "Pikachu Pi, Pika Pi Pikachu!" (If we work together, we can escape!)

But none of the other Poke'mon were listening to Purge.

"That's right, Purge! If we all work together, we can escape!" Jessica translated for her Pikachu.

People cheered and three confetti.

"Well, yeah!" Rita interrupted the acclamation, "Of course we have to work together, but how are we going to do it?"

"I dunno," Jessica shrugged and everyone, people and Poke'mon, facefaulted.

"Does anyone have a Poke'mon that knows 'Surf'?" Jake asked the crowd.

"I do!" a Lass came forward, "I have a Lapras!"

"I have a Seel!" another Lass came forward.

"I have a Seaking!" a Fisher stepped forward.

"I have a rock," Halloween Charlie Brown said sadly. Then he magically turned into a Psyduck and dove inside a Poke'ball that fell out of Rita's bag. Rita was surprised.

"I guess you just got a new Poke'mon," Jake said as he patted Rita's shoulder.

"I guess so," Rita replied as she picked up the Poke'ball.

"HELLO! What are we going to do?" the livid crowd roared.

"Give me a minute to think!"

Over at a table, Lakota was searching for more sugar. She peeked under the table and found a Moon Stone, but she thought it was rock candy. When Lakota's paw reached out and touched the Moon Stone, she began to glow and she grew bigger.

"Pikachu! Pika Pikachu!" (Jessica! Look at Lakota!) Purge pointed at Lakota.

"Ohhh... shiny!" Rita rolled her eyes.

"Cool! She's evolving!" Jake exclaimed.

Bazaar and Shetan had finished the buffet and they watched Lakota evolve. Several people took pictures. One guy had a disposable camera set on "Flash". When he took the picture, the camera's flash reflected Lakota's glowing body and blinded him. He ran blindly until he ran overboard and lived the rest of his life as a blind servant for the rabid Tentacruel.

"Queeeen!" (Moooo!) Lakota screeched as soon as she had fully evolved into a Nidoqueen. Lakota shrugged and she, Bazaar, and Shetan went over to Purge, Jessica, Rita, and Jake.

"Awwww!" Jessica threw her arms around Lakota's neck and hugged her. Jessica eventually let Lakota out of her choking grip after Rita had whacked her with a pickle that was carved into the shape of a flipflop that was eating Finland.

Suddenly, water rushed in through the doorways.

"Shut the doors! Quick!" Jake ordered.

Buff Sailors and their Machop fought against the force of the oncoming water and closed the doors tightly.

"We can't hold them ourselves much longer!" a Sailor cried. Other trainers' Poke'mon came forward to help keep the doors tightly shut. A Machoke, a Kangaskhan, a Nidoking, and Lakota helped with the doors against the strength of the sea water's raging force.

"How are we gonna get out?" a Cueball shrieked madly.

Jessica looked up at the hole that was left by Team Rocket's escape pod.

"Hey, look! There's a hole in the ceiling!"

"You _just_ noticed that?" Rita screamed. Jessica nodded in enthusiasm, "How could you just notice it now? You're-!"

"What?" Jessica asked.

"Duh! Why didn't I think of it before!" Rita's hand hit the side of her head, "We can escape through the hole in the ceiling!"

Everyone immediately stopped panicking at Rita's announcement and cheered.

Water cam in through the cracks of the doors at an alarming rate.

"We need to hurry!" Jake cried out.

"Bulbasaur!" (Hey, come on!) Bazaar yelled out at two other Bulbasaur and an Ivysaur and they came over. Bazaar magically pulled out a black marker and drew a large square under the hole in the ceiling and he stood on a corner, "Bulba Bulbasaur Saur." (Each of you stand on a corner.)

They obeyed. Bazaar tied his vines with the Ivysaur's that was diagonal from him.

"Bulbasaur." (You two do the same.) Bazaar ordered the other Bulbasaurs and they all joined vines in the center of the square.

"Hey, Bazaar, this is no time to be playing trampoline," said Jessica. If Bazaar knew an electric attack, he would've given Jessica a few jolts. So Purge did it for him. Jessica's body was on the ground twitching with electric charges.

"Alright, people! Listen up! We're gonna escape!"

"Hooray!" everyone cheered.

"Girl with the Lapras, come here!" Rita ordered, "Put your Poke'mon back inside its Poke'ball."

The Lass did what she was told.

"Bulbasaur Ba." (Let Lapras out when you get on the roof.)

"Jessica? What did Bazaar say?" Rita asked.

"Let Lapras out when she gets on the roof," Jessica repeated.

"Good idea," Rita pushed the Lass in the middle of the trampoline of vines. The three Bulbasaurs and one Ivysaur flung the Lass up through the hole in the ceiling. She screamed for the whole trip through the hole and landed on the roof. Then she let out her Lapras in the water and jumped on its back and waited for more people to come.

People lined up to be catapulted through the roof and climbed aboard a Surfing Poke'mon. Then it was Jessica's turn, she withdrew Lakota and Shetan and she was thrown up. She missed the hole and crashed through the roof, making a new hole that was the shape of her body. Rita came next.

The Machoke, the Kangaskhan, and the Nidoking were withdrawn by their trainers and the Sailors and their Machop were struggling to hold the doors shut.

"Come on, Jake!" Rita called from the ceiling.

"Go on without me! The Sailors and their Machop need my help!"

"But, Jake!"

"Don't worry about me, Rita! We'll see each other again someday! I promise!"

The Bulbasaurs and Ivysaur were withdrawn into their Poke'balls from their trainers above.

"Bye, Jake," Rita whispered and with remorse, she let out her Psyduck that luckily knew Surf. She, Jessica, and Purge climbed on top of Psyduck and he flailed wildly to stay afloat. He dog-paddled to shore which was only twelve feet away from the sinking ship.

Then Jessica found something on the ground and she picked it up.

"Rita? What's this?" Jessica asked, holding it in front of Rita's face.

"Woah. It's a Hidden Machine!" Rita said in awe.

"But I can see it."

"Whatever. It's a Cut Hidden Machine! You can teach your Poke'mon 'Cut'!"

"Bazaar saved us. So I think he should get to learn Cut."

"Pikachu," (I agree.) Purge nodded.

Bazaar was released and Jessica used the HM and taught him "Cut".

"What's that big building over there?" Jessica pointed at a large building that was pathetically trying to hide behind a thin tree.

"A Gym," Rita replied in monotone.

"Let's go in!"

"Pi!" (Yeah!)


	13. The Shocking Match

White Pony: Hello, all! I've finally graduated high school and I get the summer to write the parodies and work!

Disclaimer Dude: You... are weird...

White Pony: Proud of it! Disclaiming time!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon, Oscar the Grouch, soap operas, the Energizer Bunny, Spam, Girl Scout Cookies or Saturday Night Fever.

White Pony: And those who were worrying about Jake, there's no need to worry.

_Chapter Thirteen: A Shocking Match_

Jessica, Purge, Bazaar, and Rita would've gone inside the Vermilion City Gym, but there was a thin tree blocking their path.

"I need to think of some brilliant scheme to get by...," Jessica began to think REALLY, REALLY hard, "I know! I'll climb over it!"

Jessica was about to climb over the tiny tree, but she couldn't figure out how to climb it because she never climbed a tree before.

Rita was amused. Purge and Bazaar compared theories on the meaning of life. Rita sat in a chair that had materialized out of nowhere and enjoyed a bowl of popcorn as she watched Jessica try to figure out how to get by the tree.

Next, Jessica tried to dig under the tree with a plastic spork, but it broke. Then, she jumped into the water next to the tree and attempted to swim to the other side, but the rabid Tentacruel threw her out of the water. Jessica's final attempt was using herself as a battering ram and hoping to knock the tree down. Bazaar was fed up and he used Cut to cut the tree down.

"Thanks, Bazaar!" Jessica exclaimed, then she ran inside the Vermilion City Gym with Purge, Bazaar, and Rita at her heels.

"Man! It stinks in here!" Rita cried and she plugged her nose. The entire Gym had garbage cans everywhere! There were piles of trash lying around. It was like a landfill!

"Pi Pi Pika?" (What is that noise?) Purge looked around.

"Bulbasaur!" (Over there!) Bazaar pointed at a single trash can with his vine. Something was inside the trash can, singing.

"Oh, I love trash! Anything dirty or stinky or dusty! Hehehehehe!" Then it came out. It was Oscar the Grouch.

"Hi!" Jessica screamed in Oscar's face.

"AHHH!" Oscar yelled, "What's your problem, kid? Scram!"

"Okay!" Jessica bounced around the Gym looking for the Gym Leader.

"More randomness," Rita sighed.

Jessica eventually found two switches and the electric doors unlocked.

"Yay! I opened them!"

"Good for you."

Inside the room, Lt. Surge was wearing a lavender bath robe while sitting in a fluffy chair in front of a television set, watching soap operas and eating bonbons.

"Roderick, no! She'll betray you like last time!" Lt. Surge yelled frantically at the tv.

Suddenly, Lakota came out of her Poke'ball and scarfed down the rest of the bonbons.

"Noooo!" Lt. Surge fell to his knees.

"I'm so sorry!" Jessica apologized to the crying Gym Leader. The sobbing Gym Leader paid no heed, "Excuse me."

Jessica tapped Lt. Surge's shoulder and he leaped in surprise, turned off his television and disposed of his lavender bath robe, "Intruder!"

"No, we came for a battle!" Rita growled.

"Welcome to Vermilion City Gym! I shall zap you into paralysis just like my enemies!" Lt. Surge struck several poses. A sound of a cracking whip was heard with each pose.

"Yay!" Jessica exclaimed, "Go, Purge!"

"Pi-ka!" (Whoo-hoo!)

"Go, Raichu!" Lt. Surge cried out as he released his electric Poke'mon and stuck another set of poses at the sound of the cracking whip.

"Raichu!" (Raichu!) The large mouse's body was energized with electricity.

Then a pink bunny came marching in. He was pounding a large drum while a voice in the background mused repeatedly.

"It keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going...-AHHHH!"

The rabbit thrust one of its drumsticks in a random direction and it seemed to have speared the guy who was doing the annoying background voice. Everyone, except for Jessica who was staring blankly and drooling, was baffled by the complete randomness. Then the pink bunny exploded, filling up the Gym with blinding black smoke. Not to mention choking black smoke. Everyone began coughing, and coughing, and coughing, and coughing... you get the idea. Finally, a familiar tune began to play.

"Pre-cough-pare for-cough-trouble!"

"Cough- And make it-cough cough-double!"

"To pro-cough-tect the world-cough-from danger-cough-ous freaks-cough cough-!"

"To-cough-pelt them-achoo!-all with-quack!-smelly-wheeze-meats!"

"To relinquish society-cough cough cough-of junk-cough-mail!"

"To go to the-cough-mall and-cough-see what's on-cough-sale!"

"Cough-Jean-cough-!"

"Cough-Roy-cough-!"

"Team-cough-Rocket blast off with-cough-speed and-cough-might!"

"Cough-Surrender now or-cough-prepare to-cough-fight!"

"Farfetch'd!-Ack!-Dat's right!"

"Bulbasaur!" (Hang on!) Bazaar was the only one who had a mineral mask handy. His vines came out and felt around the trash-filled Gym for the door. Bazaar found something and grabbed it.

"OUCH!" Oscar the Grouch cried out in pain, "THE PAIN!"

"Bulba!" (Sorry!) Bazaar sweat dropped and he felt around the smoke-filled room for the door again. Finally, he found it. Bazaar opened the door to let the smoke out, but not all of it went outside.

"Cough- Pidgeotto!-cough-Whirlwind!" Rita let out her Pidgeotto.

"Geo-cough-tto!" Pidgeotto flapped her wings fiercely and blew the clouds of smoke outside where it was devoured by a Koffing. The Koffing later passed itself off as a disco ball and was donated to the local disco club. The Koffing's poisonous gases suffocated the dancers during Saturday Night Fever. That's how disco was no more. Fans of disco formed an angry mob and went after the Koffing. It went out with a bang. Literally. Knowing that it had done the right thing, the Koffing used Selfdestruct on the spot. The mobsters were injured and killed while the Koffing is slowly making a recovery. Enough of that. Back to the crazy story.

"Thanks, Pidge. Return," Pidgeotto was withdrawn into her Poke'ball, "Dang Team Rocket!"

"Hey, Jean! When I breathed in the black smoke, I coughed! Isn't that weird?" Roy said excitedly, but only got a bashing in the head with Jean's rubber chicken.

"Quiet! Grab Pikachu!" Farfetch'd ordered.

"Pikachu!" (Stay back!) Purge's cheeks glowed with electrical charges.

"Purge is not your Pikachu!" Rita snarled.

"Purge is to my Pikachu!" Jessica said to Rita in a bubbly tone.

"I wasn't talking to you, Jessica! I was talking to Team Rocket!"

"Team Rocket? When did they get here?"

They face faulted.

"Let's grab Raichu too!" Jean, Roy, and Farfetch'd began to advance on Purge and Raichu.

"Fear the wrath of domesticated objects!" Lt. Surge roared as he brandished a stainless steel frying pan, "Bwahahahahahahahahaha!"

Team Rocket shrunk back in fear.

"You have won this round!" Jean bellowed and she, Roy, and Farfetch'd blasted off at a sudden explosion that was caused by nothing.

"Let's begin our battle!" said Lt. Surge.

"Alright!" Jessica roared in excitement, "Purge, use Quick Attack!"

Purge's Quick Attack was too fast for Raichu to avoid, but it didn't do much damage.

"Rai!" (Tee!) Raichu giggled as Purge rammed into his tummy.

"Pika?" (What?) Purge cocked her head in confusion.

"Raichu Rai Rai," (You're ears are short.) Raichu replied. Purge fumed.

"Pi... ka...," (Why... you...) Purge shook in anger, "Pika Pi Pikachu!" (No one makes fun of my short ears!)

"Raichu! Thunderbolt!" Lt. Surge ordered and he struck more poses. The cracking whip accidentally struck him in the behind and he leaped in the air and howled in pain.

"Raaaaiichuuu!" Raichu fired his powerful electric attack and took out a small portion of Purge's hit points.

"Chuuu!" (Owww!)

"Purge, use 'Spam'!" Jessica ordered, "Or is it Slam?"

"It's Slam," Rita corrected.

"Thanks, Rita! You're really smart!"

"Heh, thanks," Rita smiled.

"You're welcome!" Jessica turned back to Purge, but her Pikachu had already finished the battle with a series of Slams and one Thunderbolt of her own, "Hey, we won!"

"Pika Pi Pika! Pikachu!" (I am a woman! Here me roar!) Purge roared as she pounded her chest like a dominant amazon.

"That was a 'shocking match'!" Lt. Surge waited for someone to laugh at his pun, but he only got a chorus of chirping crickets, "Just take the ThunderBadge, the TM that contains Thunderbolt, and get out of my Gym!"

"Thank you! Bye!" Jessica, Purge, Bazaar, and Rita left the Vermilion City Gym with a new badge. After Bazaar used Cut on the tree that had grown back so quickly, he was withdrawn into his Poke'ball.

Then the tree individuals were stopped by a strange lady who Jessica had mistaken for a Girl Scout.

"Can we get some Girl Scout Cookies, Rita? Please?" Jessica asked her annoyed friend.

"I'm sorry, but I don't sell Girl Scout Cookies," the lady sweat dropped, "But... OH! YOU HAVE THE THUNDERBADGE?"

Jessica, Purge, and Rita jumped at the sudden outburst, "Then you must be a good trainer!"


	14. Bazaar the Lumberjack

White Pony: Here's another insanity-filled chapter! Disclaimer Dude, you're up!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon, Ninja Turtles or anything else that I'm not in the mood to mention.

White Pony: The Lumberjack song belongs to Monty Python!

Disclaimer Dude: Yeah.

_Chapter Fourteen: Bazaar the Lumberjack_

"What's it to ya?" Rita asked in suspicion.

"I just caught a Squirtle that is always getting into mischief."

"What did it do?" Jessica asked.

"Well, right after I caught him..."

FLASHBACK:

A psychotic-looking Squirtle wearing a purple head bandana and purple wrist bands was holding a torch while dancing around a tragic scene. A building has been burnt down to the ground! Police cars and fire trucks were driving around in panic, people were screaming, children were crying, and marshmallows were being roasted.

"SQUIRTLE, SQUIRT, SQUIRTLE!" (BURN, BABY, BURN!) the psycho ninja Squirtle chanted, then he disappeared into the shadows.

END OF FLASHBACK

"And another time..."

ANOTHER FLASHBACK:

The Squirtle walked into a bank with an orange bandana over his eyes and around his head. He was also carrying a paper bag.

"Squirtle! Squirt Squirt Squirtle!" (Alright! Hand it all over! The money!) The ninja Squirtle whipped out a plastic spork and everyone in the bank immediately dropped to the floor in fear, "Squirtle Squirtle!" (Don't make me use this!)

The Squirtle jumped onto the counter and yelled at the person behind it, "Squirtle Squirtle!" (Give me all the money!)

"Will that be from your checking or savings account?" he asked the mad Squirtle, who then slapped him in the face with his plastic spork. The people gasped in horror.

"Squirt Squirtle Squirtle, Squirt!" (Don't give me any of your wisecracks, punk!) The Squirtle grabbed the employee by the collar of his shirt and did the most evil thing he could think of in his twisted, ninja mind: he put gum in his hair. The brave man screeched like a newborn chimpanzee with constipation and gave away the bank's money to the Squirtle. The Squirtle left the bank as the employee tried to remove the sticky gum from his hair. What a brave man. The innocent bystanders gave a moment of silence on the tragic scene.

Then just as the Squirtle disappeared, the police had arrested an innocent suspect. The suspect was Michelangelo, the orange clad Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

"I swear! I didn't do it!" Michelangelo protested as he was lead into the police car.

END OF FLASHBACK.

"It needs a good trainer to set it straight."

"Obviously," Rita agreed.

"Would you take this Squirtle?" the lady asked Jessica.

"Sure!" Jessica was handed the Squirtle's Poke'ball. Then it came out.

"Squirtle, this young girl is your new trainer," the lady explained to the Squirtle.

The Squirtle's eyes widened in surprise. He pulled a window out of the plot hole and yelled.

"Squirtle Squirtle, Squirtle!" (You'll never take me alive, coppers!) The demented Squirtle leaped through the window, shattering the glass.

"He's adorable!" Jessica cooed.

"He's crazy!" Rita exclaimed.

"Pikachu!" (He's nuts!) Purge cried.

"He's my kinda guy!" said a thick brown book that was dressed up like a pirate. Then the book transformed into a bag of marshmallows, which were later eaten by Lakota.

Jessica seized the Squirtle into a hug, "I'll call you 'Leonardo'!"

"Squirt Squirtle!" (Let me go!) Leonardo struggled in Jessica's love grip.

"Alright, then. Go inside your round thing," Leonardo was withdrawn into his Poke'ball.

"Please treat Squirtle right," the lady pleaded.

"What is he gonna do? Murder us?" Rita asked sarcastically.

"Yes," the lady replied in a serious tone.

Rita and Purge backed up slowly. Jessica watched them with a confused expression. Mistaking their actions for a game, she followed suit. They ended up inside the Poke'mon Fan Club. When Purge was a cute Clefairy, she ran up to him and immediately became infatuated.

"Pika Pika!" (Gasp gasp!) Purge gasped.

The Clefairy sweat dropped. Rita's Psyduck let himself out and she chased him around the room.

"Hi!" Jessica cheerfully introduced herself to the man with the Clefairy.

"Wouldn't you just admire my Clefairy's adorable tail?" he asked.

"I just love my Seel! It squeals when I hug it!" a young girl nearby squealed.

"Seel Seel Seel!" (That's because you choke me!) The girl's Seel cried, but the girl giggled and hugged her tightly, making her squeal.

"SEEL!" (NEED AIR!) Seel squealed.

"Humph! My Clefairy is twice as cute as that one!" the man proclaimed.

"Oh, dear!" the girl declared as she released her relieved Seel, "My Seel is much cuter!"

Bored with their bickering, Jessica skipped over to the Chairman. Jessica heard about the Chairman and his love for Poke'mon, but she always thought that the fancy chair that the Chairman sat in was what made the Chairman a Chairman.

"I am the Chairman of the Poke'mon Fan Club!" the chatty Chairman exclaimed to Jessica, "I have over a hundred Poke'mon and I love them all! I am very fussy when it comes to Poke'mon! So. Did you come to hear me brag about my Poke'mon?"

Jessica nodded enthusiastically, "Sure!"

"Good! My favorite... Rapidash! It's cute... lovely... smart... plus amazing. Do you think so?... Yes it stunning... ravishing... love it... hug it when sleeping... warm..."

Twelve hours later, Jessica was still listening intently to the blabbing Chairman while everyone, Poke'mon included, fell asleep. How rude. Well, Psyduck hadn't fallen asleep. He was still running around the room.

"...Cuddly... just wonderful... Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! Take this! It's a... a thing! Exchange it for a Bicycle! Don't worry, my Fearow will Fly me anywhere, so I don't need a Bicycle. I hope you like cycling!"

Then, Rita's Psyduck crashed into the Chairman's fancy chair, destroying it.

"No! My chair! I can't be the Chairman without my fancy chair!" the Chairman sobbed.

"That's alright, sir. We have a spare!" said the lady beside him.

"You are so wonderful, my fabulous assistant!" he kneeled before her and randomly pulled out a ring, "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, yes! I will, sir!"

"Thank you!" Jessica stuffed the... thing into her bag and she poked Rita until she woke up, who then withdrew her dazed Psyduck, then she carried Purge, who was still asleep.

After the trip to the Poke'mon Center, Jessica, Purge who was now awake, and Rita stopped at Cerulean City to exchange the... thing for a Bicycle that somehow could fit inside of Jessica's bag. I guess some mysteries just aren't meant to be solved.

Bazaar used Cut to hack down the small trees blocking the path to Rock Tunnel. Along the way, Jessica sang Monty Python's Lumberjack song.

"Ohhh... He's a lumberjack and he's okay!

He sleeps all night, he works all day,

he eats his lunch, he cuts down trees!

He goes to the lava-tree!"

"You!" a girl interrupted Jessica, "You have Poke'mon? You're mine!"

"Sorry, but I don't swing that way," Jessica sweat dropped. Rita and Purge burst out laughing while the Lass' eyes darted in all directions.

"My mistake. Let's battle!" the Lass sent out a Bellsprout, "Go, Bellsprout!"

"Okay! Go, Shetan!" Jessica released her Charmander who was still wearing his blinkers.

"Charmander Char!" (Let's hurry!) Shetan cried, "Charmander Mander!" (My show is on in five minutes!)

"Alright, Shetan, Ember!"

Shetan's Ember knocked out Bellsprout in one hit. Same thing with the Oddish, the other Bellsprout, and the other Oddish. Shetan was withdrawn into his Poke'ball right when his show started. It was Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends.

"On Wednesdays he goes shopping

and has buttered scones for tea!

Ohhh! He's a lumberjack and he's okay!

He sleeps all night, he works all day!

He eats his lunch, he cuts down trees!

He skips, he jumps!

He likes to press wild flowers!

He puts on women's clothing

and hangs around in bars!"

Purge, Rita, and Bazaar exchanged concerned glances. Jessica's song was again interrupted by a trainer wanting to battle.

"Geodude, go!" a Hiker released his rock Poke'mon.

"Bazaar! Go!"

"Bulbasaur!" (Finally!)

"Vine Whip!" Jessica commanded.

"Pika Pi Pikachu." (She's getting better at this.)

"I wish I understood you, Purge," Rita looked down at Jessica's Pikachu.

"Geo... dude," (I... give.) Geodude murmured before fainting.

"Noooooooo!" the Hiker cried out to the sky, "Go, Onix!"

"Does the Hiker's party look familiar to you, Jessica?" Rita asked knowingly.

"Nope! Not at all!" Jessica chirped.

"I thought your memory span was five hours! It's only been four and a half hours!"

"Did I? It is?" Jessica asked confusedly.

"YES!... and yes!"

"Oh, well how should I know? I can't remember to keep track."

"Pika Chu Pi, Pikachu Chu," (Even if she did, she wouldn't remember.) said Purge.

"Exactly!"

Rita cocked her brow, "You know I can't understand your Pikachu, right?"

Jessica shook her head slowly.

"Why even bother asking?"

"Pi Pi Pika?" (When will you learn?)

"Ooar!" (Howdy!) the Onix roared.

"Howdy, pawdner!" chorused a group of confused people with fake southern accents and dressed in cowboy clothing. They marched into a giant wooden wood duck and few to outer space.

"Bulbasaur, Bulba!" (Take this, Rocky!) Bazaar defeated the Onix with a single Vine Whip.

"Doggone it!" the Hiker withdrew his Onix, "You win."

"Hooray!" Jessica cried.

Then suddenly, Bazaar's bulb began to glow. Then his whole body glowed and grew. The bulging bulb burst open, revealing a flower bud sprouting out from new leaves.

"No! Bazaar is falling apart! Do something, Rita!" Jessica yelled frantically. Rita slapped her, "Ow."

"Bazaar isn't falling apart! He's evolving into an Ivysaur!"

"Pi," (Wow.) Purge gasped in awe as she witnessed another evolution.

"Ivysaur Ivy, Ivysaur Saur Ivysaur," (When we get to Rock Tunnel, I'm getting back to my reading.)

"Cool! Let's get going!" Jessica exclaimed and she began singing again.

"Ohhh! He's a lumberjack and he's okay!

He sleeps all night, he works all day!

He eats his lunch, he cuts down trees!

He wears high heels, suspenders, and a bra!

He wish he had been a girly!

Just like his dear papa!"

"Ivysaur Saur," (Unwanted images.) Bazaar shivered.

"That was disturbing," Rita also shivered.

"Pika Pi Pika Pi Pikachu," (For a minute I thought my ears were bleeding.)

When Jessica was about to sing the Lumberjack song again, Bazaar somehow got himself inside his Poke'ball while Purge knocked out her trainer by hitting her in the head with a bag of hot dog buns and Rita dragged her to the Poke'mon Center outside of Rock Tunnel.


	15. Shetan VS Fire!

White Pony: I want to thank all of my reviewers! I love ya! Especially Jenvaati! You rock my socks... If I was wearing socks.

Disclaimer Dude: That joke is getting old.

White Pony: Nevah!

Disclaimer Dude: I hate my life.

White Pony: You're on, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own Poke'mon or anything else I mention that isn't her property.

_**Chapter Fifteen: Shetan VS Fire**_

"Wow, it's dark in here!" Jessica exclaimed.

"Jessica, your eyes are closed and we haven't even entered Rock Tunnel yet," said Rita.

"Oh!" Jessica opened her eyes, "Silly me!"

"Pikachu!" (To the Zubat Cave!) Purge exclaimed as the Batman theme music played in the background and she, Jessica, and Rita entered Rock Tunnel.

"Rita! I can't see anything!" Jessica whined.

"Release Shetan for crying out loud!"

"Okay. Come out, Shetan!" When Shetan came out, the flame on his tail illuminated their surroundings.

"Charmander!" (I have returned!) Shetan declared. They ventured forth. Twigs were scattered around all over the ground.

"Rita? How did those twigs get here?"

"Hikers leave them behind as trail marks so they can find their way around."

"Pikachu?" (Why don't they just follow those signs?) Purge pointed at a trail of really large brightly colored signs that lead the way out.

"Yeah, why don't they follow those signs?"

"Because Hikers are stupid," Rita said simply.

"No, we're not!" a Hiker randomly popped out of nowhere, "Young lady, we don't need signs to tell us where to go. We Hikers are born with homing instincts and we use our survival skills in the wilderness, right boys?"

"Right!" chorused a group of Hikers.

"But why? What's the point?" Rita asked. Then corny polka music began playing in the background. The Hikers gathered around and danced.

"Ohhhhh! We are Hikers!" the lead Hiker sang,

"We are Hikers!

We put sticks on the ground

for trail markers

so we can get around!"

"We are Hikers!" chorused the other Hikers in tenor voices.

"We are Hikers!

We cook our meal

on an open fire!" Shetan winced,

"We do what we feel

our hearts desire!"

"We are Hikers!" the chorus joined the lead singer,

"We are Hikers!

We love being outside

under the sun!

Even if it burns our hide!

It is still lots of fun!

Caaause...!"

One of the Hikers sang a solo in falsetto, "Weee aaaare Hiiikeeeeers!"

The corny polka music stopped and the Hikers paused for an encore, but little did they know that their song had scared away their audience.

"Rita, are the scary singing fat men gone?" Jessica asked Rita in fright.

"I think so," Rita replied, equally frightened.

"Pikachu!" (Stupid sticks!) Purge yelled after tripping on a large group of sticks left by the Hikers.

"These sticks are everywhere!" Rita said in frustration.

Both humans and Poke'mon had to take strong steps through the lake of sticks left by the Hikers as if they were wading through deep water.

"Come on, Purge, Shetan," Jessica picked up Purge and Shetan, holding each in an arm.

Shetan just happened to look downward and he caught sight of the flame on his tail.

"CHAR!" (FIRE!) Shetan jumped out of Jessica's arm and fell into the deep ocean of sticks.

"Shetan!" Jessica cried as she dropped Purge and began digging for her Charmander. Then she spotted a fireball that grew and grew beneath the surface. Until finally...

FLOOF!

Fire ripped through the surface and spread rapidly.

"Jessica!" Rita yelled through the fiery walls that were separating her from her moronic friend.

"Shetan!" Jessica took a deep breath and dove into the deep clatter of sticks and swam around for her fire Poke'mon. Then she finally found him curled up in a little orange ball beneath a branch with "WILLIAM WAS HERE" carved into its bark. She scooped up her frightened Poke'mon and headed for the surface. She and Shetan sputtered and coughed up pieces of bark.

"There you are!" Rita yelled, trying to hide her worry.

"PIKACHU!" (JESSICA!) Purge cried out in fright. Jessica handed Rita Shetan and dove back into the sticks for her Pikachu.

Shetan was frightened. For his blinkers have been torn off in the sea of sticks while trying to evade the spreading fire that came from his tail.

"PURGE!" Jessica called after she reached the surface on the other side of the wall of fire, "Purge?"

"Pikachu!" (Jessica!) Purge called to her trainer who was two feet away. For some unknown reason, Purge was trapped inside a rolled up tortilla.

"Purge!" Jessica called again, unaware that her Poke'mon was right behind her.

"Pikachu, Pika!" (Jessica, I'm behind you!) Purge yelled angrily as her eye twitched.

Jessica whirled around, "There you are! Why are you wrapped up like a burrito thing?"

"Pi... Ka... Chu...," (I... don't... know...) Purge replied in a shocked and quite confused manner.

"Oh, well!" Jessica ate away the tortilla and picked up Purge. Just as Jessica was about to dive under the wall of fire, it flared wildly and tossed embers everywhere. Then for no reason, a Hiker fell from the cave's ceiling and landed on Jessica, making her and Purge unable to move.

"Oh, man! Shetan, you have to save Jessica and Purge!" Rita said to Shetan.

"Char? Char Char!" (Me? No way!) Shetan shook his head. He feared the fire.

"I know that you're afraid of fire, but you're a fire Poke'mon! You use fire!" Shetan was still unmotivated.

"Shetan!" Jessica called from under the weight of the Hiker, "Attack the fire! Attack the fire, Shetan!"

"Mander Char?" (Attack the fire?) Shetan looked into the wall of fire. To his surprise, the flames seemed to have formed a face and a voice spoke to him telepathically.

"_Yeah... attack me!"_ the face formed in the fire mocked Shetan, _"How are you going to grow up big and strong if you don't eat your vegetables and drink your milk?"_

"Char?" (What?) Shetan cocked his head in confusion. He rubbed his eyes and still, he saw the fiery face. Shetan thought that he was either hallucinating or going completely insane.

"_Er-I mean... how are you going to grow up to become a powerful fire Poke'mon if you can't overcome me? What kind of fire Poke'mon are you? If you really are a fire Poke'mon!"_

"Charmander!" (Shut up!) Shetan yelled at the flames in fury.

"_Why should I? What are you gonna do about it? Shrink in fear? Tremble and cry for your stupid trainer every time you see the tiny, harmless flame that has always burned at the end of your tail?"_

Shetan glanced at the tiny flame on his tail and for the first time in his life, he didn't try to escape it.

"_Come on, you wimpy little lizard, attack me!"_

Fire burned in Shetan's eyes and the flame on his tail heated up, making Rita drop him suddenly.

"Shetan?" Rita mused.

Shetan pointed at the wall of flames and yelled, "CHAR CHARMANDER!" (YOU'RE GOING DOWN!)

"_Wait!" the fiery face exclaimed in fear, "I was just kidding!"_

"CHARMANDER!" (SHUT UP!) Shetan charged through the fire as the face disappeared. He landed on the other side of the wall. Shetan knew that he had conquered fire, the thing he had feared his entire life. His heart swelled with newfound confidence.

"Pika!" (Shetan!) Purge managed to choke out from under the Hiker. Shetan used Ember to singe the Hiker. He leaped into the air and Shetan used Seismic Toss on Jessica and Purge to throw them over the fiery wall.

"Yay! Great job, Shetan!" Jessica praised after crashing painfully onto the other side and breaking Purge's fall.

Just as Shetan was about to make another mad dash, the Hiker came back down and landed on him. The impact created a crater in the ocean of sticks. The flying debris rained down and covered the spreading fire, putting it out with the help from Smokey the Bear. Smokey approached Jessica, Purge, and Rita who had shielded themselves from the flying debris with a tiny cocktail umbrella.

"Only you can prevent forest fires!" Smokey declared. The trio before him blinked.

"This is a cave, not a forest," said Rita.

Smokey's eyes darted in every direction before bolting away. Then Shetan appeared when the Hiker was eaten by Smokey before leaving Rock Tunnel. Only he was no longer a Charmander. He had evolved into a Charmeleon. Shetan approached his brain-dead trainer.

"Shetan, you look different. Did you get a haircut?" Jessica asked. Purge, Shetan, and Rita face faulted.

"Chu!" (No!) Purge yelled angrily.

"Shetan evolved into a Charmeleon!" Rita finished for Purge.

"Yay! The horse I picked won the Kentucky Derby!" Jessica rejoiced after reading an article of the Daily Racing Forum.

"Really? How much did you win?" Rita asked in excitement.

"Nothing!" Jessica replied happily, "I love you, Barbaro!"

"I thought you bet on him!"

"No, I just picked him." Purge, Shetan, and Rita sweat dropped.

After our heroes exited Rock Tunnel, the sleepy Shetan was withdrawn into his Poke'ball and the trio stopped at the Poke'mon Center in Lavender Town.


End file.
